Embracing The Light
by punkydiva17
Summary: The sequel to "Fighting The Darkness". After banishing Evolution from SmackDown, Jessa has been sent with them to RAW.
1. Jessa Bolt 01

_****_"Happy birthday, Lightning Bolt!"

I turned to Shane McMahon and hugged him tightly. The two of us have been forever bonded by an ass-kicking. I wish I could say we were the ones doing the kicking, but sadly, Shane and I had our asses handed to us by Evolution only five months ago. Three days later, my team was successful in driving Evolution back to _Raw_, away from the blue brand. The night after, Vince McMahon decided I needed a change and I ended up following Evolution.

A lot has happened between November and April. One of my good friends and a former camerawoman named Sabella McCann got back into contact with us after veering off the rails a little bit. Slowly but surely, our group is starting to reattach itself after a turbulent year. Her best friend and former seamstress Adriana Braxton left on New Year's Eve. Rene proposed to her Christmas Day. It's kind of quick for the two of them, who have had something of a whirlwind romance, but I'm happy as long as she's happy. Adriana's started taking business classes. She's hoping to open up her own boutique. I'm really proud of her. My best friend Natalie Landry is still with us, now working as Vince McMahon's assistant. She is still going strong in her relationship with John Cena. She's been good for him. Much better than his last girlfriend, my ex-best friend, Callie Berry.

Speaking of Callie, she blew her knee out at the _Royal Rumble _in January. She's out for eight months to a year. I can't say I'm going to miss her, since she's still languishing in the dark side. She's still with the womanizing Dave Batista. She acts like she took him back after he sucked up, but I doubt it. He has her so wrapped around finger it's not even funny. He knows it. I don't think she does.

My relationship with Kurt Angle continues to deteriorate. It hurts, but I'm working through it. He still makes passes at me, but since he became one of Sabella McCann's conquests, he pretty much ruled himself out. Not that I was ever attracted to him. I have a suspicion that Kurt's rejection of Sabella is what drove her out of here, but she won't talk about it and he won't take responsibility for the damage he did to her psyche. Sure, she sleeps around, but she's not some kind of heartless human being. She's young, she's dumb and she's finding herself. I think she really liked Kurt Angle. I can trace her shift in attitude directly to him rejecting her at my penthouse.

Speaking of my penthouse, last weekend I moved into a pretty little house just off of Times Square. I needed to get rid of the memories I had with Brock Lesnar, my first boyfriend. My little sister Kari flew out from British Columbia to help me unpack. The first thing she did was put blinding violet streaks in my hair and hacked it up. I like it. So does everyone else. Kari shaved her head two months ago. It's so strange seeing her with her natural hair color; she's been blonde for as long as I can remember.

"Thanks, Shane. Are you coming out with us tonight?"

"And since when have I ever turned down a chance to party?" he asked. For a nice surprise, John flew out tonight so he could hang out with us. Natalie, myself, Lita, Chris Jericho and Shane McMahon. Kari is ecstatic to go out and "party like a rock star". I asked her who better to go with than Shane McMahon? The guy has given at least half of this roster alcohol poisoning on one occasion or another.

"Good. Do you think you can do me a favor?"

"Sure. What do you need?"

"Your dad has me set up for this 'Happy Birthday' themed photo shoot," I told him. I wasn't relishing it, since Vince is deciding I need more edge to my character. I'll be posing in my underwear. Thank God for the invention of the corset. He wants the kind of edge I had while I was fighting with Callie. What Vince doesn't realize is that I was two steps close to a nervous breakdown until Callie blew out her kneecap. "Anyway, I'm going to be running a little late. Do you think you can take Kari to the bar with you?"

"For a second, I thought you were going to ask me to talk Dad out of the photo shoot," Shane laughed. He knows how much I hate posing in my underwear.

"No. Sometimes I have to grin and bear certain things to live the dream," I told him. "Anyway, thank you Shane. I appreciate it. I should be at the bar at around one. If I'm running late, I'll call."

"Where is your sister?" he asked.

"Probably flirting with Shelton Benjamin." Shane nodded and took off down the hall. With an irritated sigh, I went back to the Divas locker room and got suited up for the photo shoot. Emerald green corset with the matching boy shorts and garter? Check. Fishnet stockings and black heels? Check. I looked into the mirror and felt like a total tramp, though I had to admit that I loved how the corset lifted my cleavage. I put on my black silk robe and went to do the photo shoot. The faster I got the photo shoot done, the faster I could enjoy the rest of my birthday.

It was quarter to one when I got finished. I heard some commotion in the hall as I walked back to the Divas locker room. I hate to admit it, but it was a really fun photo shoot. I got to come out of a cake, all dolled up like a red and violet Marilyn Monroe. I made it back to the locker room in record time. Deciding I liked the way I looked in the corset, I just put a bolero jacket on over it. I slid my jeans on and got back into my heels. I gathered my bags, turning as the door burst open. Randy hit the floor, his handsome features contorted in pain. I knew what had happened. After almost a year of suspicion, Randy was deemed to big of a liability to Evolution. They threw him out in their favorite manner: by beating the poor guy half to death.

"Wow..." I managed after the initial moment of shock had passed. I heard them approaching down the hallway, catcalling Randy. I quickly closed and locked the locker room door and hit the lights. I rushed to Randy, stubbing my toe on a chair. I clasped my hand over my mouth and another hand over Randy's. I felt him kiss my hand. I rolled my eyes. Randy Orton is my first kiss, and while I could do worse, I still didn't want it from him. They walked right past the locker room, their voices disappearing. I pulled my hand away. "Okay, Mr. Casanova, enough," I told him, eyes widened in exasperation. I got up and walked back to the light switch. I stubbed my toe on the same damn chair. I swore under my breath, and Randy laughed. I turned on the light.

Randy wheezed. He was bleeding all over the place. I grabbed my bag and went to Randy, rolling him over onto his back. I found the wound almost instantly, a four inch, deep gash above his right eyebrow. I winced. He winced. "I'm sorry, Randy, I just need to take a look." I sighed. "We need to get you to the hospital." He wasn't budging. "Randy, don't be difficult..." That's when I realized he had passed out. I looked at the door. Everyone was pretty gone by now. I pulled my duffel bag over and pulled out some gauze and antiseptic. My mom works as a care aide, and she always makes sure I'm stocked like crazy, since I work such an athletic job. I'm a walking hospital, to be honest. I poured some of the antiseptic on his head. He came to with a cry. "Oh, stop being such a baby," I told him.

"Baby? Have you seen my head?" he demanded.

"I'm working on it, nimrod."

"Jess..."

"We need to get you to the hospital. Come on. I'll drive." I put his hand over his head on the gauze and instructed him to apply pressure. He was fading in and out of shock. He told me I didn't have to. "Well, I'm going to, Randy, so deal with it. But you need stitches, so let's get you to the hospital."

"I'll call a cab. I've impeded on your night enough."

"What? I'm not even hearing that. You are not taking a cab while you're bleeding half to death. Come on. Let's get you up."

"Jessa, it's your birthday..."

"It's not a big deal. You need medical attention. That's what's important." With great effort, I helped him to his feet. He outweighs me by at least a hundred and twenty pounds. I leaned him against the wall and looked out into the empty hallway. When I was sure that Evolution was long gone, I helped him towards the parking lot. When I had him set up in the passenger's seat, I buckled him in and called Shane to let him know I couldn't make it. He wasn't happy.

"You are seriously missing your own birthday party?"

"I need to help him, Shane. He's bleeding half to death. I need to get him to the hospital and get him taken care of. We'll reschedule for next weekend."

"You're damn right we will. Did you want me to drop Kari off at the hotel?"

"Could you? I'd really appreciate that. I'm really sorry, Shane. He's losing a lot of blood. I can't just ignore him."

"I understand."

"Thanks, Shane." We said our goodbyes and I hung up. I got into the driver's seat. Randy had his head leaned against the window. There was a big streak of blood on the glass. I suppressed the nausea. His white shirt was completely ruined.

"I'm sorry, Jess. I just fell into the first room I found..."

"Stop apologizing. It's really no big deal." The truth is, I'm partially responsible for Randy's current predicament. The least I could do is take him to the hospital. I looked around the parking lot. There were only four or five cars left, plus Vince's limousine. Evolution was long gone, off to party at some trendy nightclub, I presume. I wondered why they waited so long to kick him out, but I brushed it off, pulling out of the parking lot and speeding into the night, towards the hospital.


	2. Natalie Landry 01

This week, I invited Jessa to come back to my place for the week. She surprised me by saying yes. I flew back here with Jessa and Kari, and we came back to my house. It's been two days since her birthday, since she took Randy Orton to the hospital. She hasn't heard from him, and she's not really expecting to. The web of men around her has tangled so much that I'm amazed it hasn't made her head explode. A couple weeks ago, she went on a dinner date with Shane McMahon – which they're both keeping a secret – but they both decided in the end that it would be better to stay friends. I'm still not sure she's ready to date again after the disaster known as Brock Lesnar, but she won't talk about it. As her best friend, I won't even push the issue. She'll talk when she's ready.

"I really can't believe you missed your own birthday party," I told her, putting our mugs of hot chocolate down on the table. Jessa promptly grabbed the whipped cream and proceeded to drown out the cocoa in her mug.

"I can't either, but I couldn't just leave him," she told me. I know she couldn't because unlike Callie, Jess actually has compassion. She has a heart. "I felt bad leaving him behind, but I needed to get onto the next town."

"How many stitches did it take to close him up?"

"Eight. It was pretty bad. They kept him for observation because he'd lost so much blood by the time we got there. I mean a lot more than you normally would for a forehead wound." She grabbed a cupcake off the table in the middle of the chair. I bought them from the bakery on the way home. My cooking hasn't gotten any better, though John has been trying to teach me. It's like two idiots trying to build something, since he's not much of a cook, either. At least he can prepare stuff from scratch. I can't make anything that doesn't come in a box. "I feel guilty for leaving him."

"You shouldn't. I'm sure he understands." I smirked. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you liked him."

Jessa snorted. "Don't even start, Natalie. He fell into my locker room, bleeding like a stuck pig. I had to help him. It's just a loose end thing, you know." I nodded, but I'm not entirely convinced. She bit into her cupcake. "I'll probably head out tomorrow and go see my mom before I have to get back on the road."

"No problem."

"How are things with John?"

"Good. We've been talking about…you know…" I felt myself blush. Jessa's eyes widened.

"Really? I thought you two had already."

"Really?"

"Well, it's none of my business to ask. I just assumed since it's been almost a year."

"To be honest, I'm a little bit…freaked out, I guess." Jessa sipped her hot chocolate.

"It's not that bad. I mean, it sucks, but it's not half as painful as your mom said it was." My mom told me it was like being ripped in two. Jessa's mom had pretty much told her the same thing, but Jessa's a brave soul. I mean, look what she does for a living, risking broken bones every time she gets in between the ropes. "It's uncomfortable, and the first few times you'll probably be praying for it to be over, but I'm told it does get better."

I wanted to ask her if it got better for her, but that would be asking her a question about Brock. I could already see her eyes darkening at the thought of her past encounters. "I'm sorry, Jess."

"Don't be. It's fine," she assured me. But the guilt was already there. She took another cupcake. "I should really pillage this bakery on my way out of town," she said with a laugh. I tacked a smile on my face. Her eyes lit up. "You know what? Why don't we call Sabella and go to the movies tonight? I've been dying to see _Sin City_."

"Me too! I think we totally should," I told her. She pulled out her phone and messaged Sabella. "She's in. She said she's getting her hair cut."

"That's insane! I wonder how short she's going," I commented. "I guess we'll see at the movie, won't we?"

"This is exciting. It's been forever since I've had a girl's night," Jessa commented. We used to crash in on Jessa at least once every week or two, but life really has gotten in the way of things. Relationships, upcoming weddings, breakups, fighting…it's really funny how life gets in the way. Before you know it, months have passed and you realize you haven't seen your friends as much as you would like to. I know Jessa's feeling the same way that I am. Especially since she's the only single one of us left. Sabella's been seeing an old high school flame. Jessa's unsure of it, because they are constantly on again and off again, but I know Jess. It's Sabella's life and she won't direct it for her.


	3. Jessa Bolt 02

"So you're for sure coming out with us tonight?" Christy Hemme asked me. I nodded. "Great."

"Is Lita coming along?" I asked. Candice Michelle shook her head.

"She's been in a management meeting all night. You know…" I nodded. A couple weeks ago, Lita's ex-boyfriend Matt Hardy got fired after he started a huge campaign on his MySpace account, railing against Lita after he discovered she had been sleeping with Edge while he's been out with a knee injury. Reporters have been asking all of us about our take on it, but thankfully we've all been keeping quiet. It's none of my business anyway. I'm just embarrassed for all the parties involved because it's become so public. "She's probably not going to be in the mood to do anything after."

"Probably not," I agreed. Candice, Christy and I were standing around the makeup table while Jane, our makeup lady, got her bags packed up. The show ended about two hours ago, and everybody was filing out for a good night's rest and relaxation.

"Jess…" I turned, seeing another tech named Rita. She had taken over Natalie's old job. She's a cutie, with an upturned button nose and mousy brown hair that's curly. Freckles are splashed across the bridge of her nose and her cheeks.

"Hey. What can I do for you?"

"I got this note for you. Somebody left it on my trunk." I cocked an eyebrow and took the envelope from her.

"Thanks, Rita. Are you coming out with us tonight?"

"You guys are going out tonight?"

"I knew we shouldn't have left these important plans to Victoria," I said with a laugh. "Yeah, it's Divas night. Natalie's coming out, too. You should come out with us if you aren't busy." She's new and desperate to make friends. I know what that's like. So does Natalie. So we've gone out of our way to invite her to do things if we see she's being excluded. Sometimes it's hard breaking into a new family.

I looked at the envelope and sighed. "I see. All right, guys, I'll meet you at the bar in forty-five. Don't you dare get hammered before I get there," I laughed. They promised, but I knew at least Candice would be smashed by the time I got to the bar. I stopped, readjusted my hair, and then went down the hall to Randy Orton's locker room. I knocked, but there wasn't any answer. Shaking my head – and praying he wasn't naked on the other side of the door – I turned the doorknob and walked in.

The room was lit with candles. I snorted. "This may just take the award for the cheesiest thing I've seen all night," I replied. I noticed a crystal vase with white roses on a chair. I went over to it and picked it up. I found the card almost right away, but I could barely read it in the dim light. I jumped when the lights came on.

Turning, I found Randy standing with a little pink box in his hands. "Seriously, what is this?" I asked, shaking my head. I blew out a candle. Randy smirked. I have a sneaking suspicion that he likes my constant rejection of his attempts to be romantic, but I can't prove it. It's just my intuition. "You couldn't just come see me? You had to leave a note for a tech? You don't think they're busy enough, they have to be running your errands to?"

"Jess, I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

"Well, you've said it. So I'm going to go now." I went towards the door, but he blocked it. I rolled my eyes and ran my tongue along the inside of my cheek.

"Come on. You care about me. I saw it last week. You felt bad about leaving me behind." I clenched my fists together in frustration. He's right. He knows it and I know it. He smirked. "Well, I forgive you."

"Because I was looking for that," I retorted.

"Oh, Jessa, my little firecracker."

"I'm not your anything, Randy," I reminded him.

"Yet."

"God, you're infuriating."

"Jess, the reason I brought you here is because I wanted to apologize for last week." I blinked.

"There's nothing to apologize about. I'm sure you had a hundred other things you would have rather been doing than getting your ass handed to you by Evolution." His jaw clenched. I don't know why I'm so defensive around this man, but he just makes my every nerve stand on end.

"Jessa, I impeded on your birthday, and I feel bad. So I got you the flowers, because I remembered you saying white roses were your favorite, and I got you this." He handed me the box. I opened it and looked up at him, cocking an eyebrow. "I read an interview you did where you said you'd never met a cheesecake you didn't like."

"Do you take note of everything I say?"

"I just pay attention," he said. He led me to the bench and sat me down. "I'll be right back. Stay here."

"Where am I going to go? Detroit?" I asked, rolling my eyes. Randy left. I smiled in spite of myself. As much as I hate to admit it, the flowers and the cheesecake was a nice gesture. He returned with two forks. He sat down with me.

"Cherry cheesecake is fine, right?"

"It's actually my favorite," I confessed. His face lit up. "Okay, so you got a couple brownie points. My God, stop gloating." He laughed.

"Are you ever going to drop your guard?"

"I suppose I could, but where would the fun be for you?" He took a bite of cheesecake.

"I know where the fun could be for the both of us…"

"Jesus, you have a one track mind."

"I may have a one track mind, but you're the only woman in it."

"Is that supposed to flatter me?" He cocked an eyebrow. I laughed. "Okay. It does. But only a little bit."

"I can't believe it. I'm finally wearing you down." I bit into my piece of cheesecake. I took a moment to have a full-on moment of pure heaven before I answered.

"You are not."

"Deny it all you would like, but you know I am."

"You are so difficult." I shook my head and bit into another forkful of cheesecake.

"How's the new place?"

"It's nice. I downgraded to a three bedroom. It's got a hot tub in the basement that I haven't gotten to enjoy yet. I have a huge, closed in balcony that I'm planning to make into a little party station, since Natalie and John want to come visit more."

"They're still going strong, hey?"

"Yeah, they are. I'm really happy for Natalie."

"Have you thought about dating again?"

"Not since my last date ended in disaster." I haven't told anybody about the date with Shane, and I'm certainly not about to tell Randy Orton. Not that there was anything to tell. All Shane got was a friendly kiss on the cheek and a thanks for attempting to get my mind off of things. Nobody's been able to help me erase it though. Learning to live with it has been a real treat.

"Have you even been on a date?"

"Sure I have."

"I didn't realize Brock Lesnar went for that sort of thing." I winced at the sound of his name. Randy instantly went sheepish. "Sorry, Jess. I don't mean to make you feel bad. I honestly brought you here to say thanks. I mean, you could have just left me on the floor."

"You know I wouldn't do that."

"I know. I'm just lucky you were still in the building." He put down his fork. "I'm not looking to get in your pants, Jess. I think you should know that." I laughed, a high pitched peal of surprise.

"I call bullshit on that one."

"Okay, maybe I do. But I want to get to know you, too. I mean, I've only been telling you this for like eight months now. How much longer is it going to take before you believe me? I don't want to see you become jaded, Jess." I opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off. "You can say no to me all you like, but it's not going to deter me from looking out for you." He got up. "I got you one more thing."

"What? Why are you doing this?" I asked, my tone losing energy fast. He came back with a striped bag. He handed it to me. I looked in and my jaw dropped. "Yeah, I can't accept this."

"You can and you will."

"You are never going to see me in this, you know that, right?"

"Oh, I will. You just don't know it yet." I shook my head and exhaled. I got up, leaving the bag. He stopped me. "Take the bag, Jess. I spent quite a bit of time picking it out."

"I'm sure you did. You had any women model it for you?" I asked. His jaw dropped.

"Of course not! It wasn't that kind of a store," he added. As much as I admired his honesty, I just wanted to bang my head against a wall. "Jess, I'm trying to be nice. I've been trying for the better part of a year now. What's it going to take?"

"I don't know," I confessed. "Maybe I'm just programmed to dislike you."

"We're going to have to work on that." He loomed in and kissed me. I tried to pull back, but his arm encircled my waist and drew me close. His tongue swiftly explored my mouth. I put my hands on my chest and pushed myself away, but he succeeded in making me feel dizzy, like my senses were more vivid than they've ever been.

"I need to go. I've got some plans tonight. Thanks for the cheesecake." I had no intention of taking anything else. Where would I stick flowers in my car anyway?

"Jess…"

I opened the door and left, taking a few moments to catch my breath. This man is too dangerous for me.


	4. Natalie Landry 02

Candice, Christy, Jessa and I went to lunch before we had to head to the arena. Two new girls from the Diva Search last year, Jessa has been trying to get to know them better. We were in Las Vegas, Nevada for _Raw_ roulette. Candice, being a former model, knows every possible place in the area, so she picked the place, a nice little restaurant in Clark County. She stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the four of us, an exotically beautiful brunette.

"So who was the envelope from the other night?" Candice asked, sipping on an iced tea.

"It was from Randy Orton," I told her. Jessa shot me a look. "What? You're among friends here."

"What did he want?" Christy asked.

"He just wanted to apologize for tearing me away from my birthday plans last week."

"I'm sure he did."

"He threw her a little party," I told them.

"Natalie, I swear to God…" Jessa murmured under her breath.

"That's really sweet. I think he likes you," Candice said.

"Oh, he likes her," I told her. "He's been trying to get together with her for about eight months now."

"So why won't you give him a shot?" Christy asked.

"We're just too different," Jessa told them. "It's really complicated. If I were to even try explaining it, my head would explode." We giggled. Jessa sipped on her cola. "I forgot how bad you are at keeping things private, Landry."

"I think you should give him a chance. I mean, he seems to have turned a new leaf since he got kicked out of Evolution. What could be the harm in a date?" Christy asked.

"I don't know. I just don't know if it's an avenue I want to walk down," Jessa confessed. The waitress arrived with our lunch. I ordered a bacon cheeseburger that was absolutely huge. My eyes widened as the girls snickered. "But enough about my personal life, you guys. What's this I'm hearing about you and John taking off for a few weeks, Natalie?"

I nodded. "Yeah, it's true. John four days off in two weeks, and we're going away on a small vacation."

"Where are you guys going to go?"

"John found a little bed and breakfast on South Beach."

"Oh, that sounds adorable," Christy gushed. I felt myself blush. Candice was picking at her chicken Caesar salad. "Have you two had four days together?"

"Not yet. He's been really busy. Especially since he became WWE Champion."

"Well, it's going to be wonderful, I bet. I think I should take you clothes shopping for the event!" Candice suggested, her eyes widening. "What about a girl's day? Would you be up for a girl's day?"

"Sure she would be," Jessa answered for me. I looked at her, but she returned my stare with a dark smile. It's what I get for talking for her. "I think John would love it."

"Me too," Christy agreed. "Maybe I could tag along. What about you, Jess?"

"No can do. I have to fly down to Puerto Vallarta for my part of the Divas shoot." Jessa's not relishing heading down there, since she's going down with Trish Stratus. The two of them have never gotten along. Lita and Torrie Wilson are joining her as well.

"What if we did it next week? You're going to need some new bikinis for the photo shoot," Christy pointed out.

"Yeah, I guess that would be a good idea." She nodded, much to my relief. "Why don't we make a day of it next Monday? Have a bit of retail therapy."

"That works for me," I answered. Candice and Christy nodded.

"Fantastic. John's not going to know what hit him…and neither will Randy," Christy said, a twinkle in her blue eyes. Jessa rolled her eyes and put down her fork.

"You guys are incorrigible," she informed us.

"Oh, come on. The guy surprised you with flowers and cheesecake, Jess. I mean, really, who does that if they don't like you?" I asked her. Jessa threw up her hands, exasperated.

"The issue isn't whether or not he likes me."

"What is the issue?" She was silent.

"I don't know. But there's an issue."

"Whatever issue is there, it's in your head," Christy told her. "Why not just go with it?"

"Because the last time I went with something, it didn't work out too well for me."

"You cannot let that dictate your dating life. That guy was an idiot," Candice informed her. Christy and I nodded in agreement. "Seriously, I've heard some talk about things, and I know this sounds cold, and it might make you upset, but you're probably better off without the guy. Let him go off with his silicone trophy wife. You have so much to be happy about. You've got great friends, your dream job, a new house."

"Thanks, Candice," Jessa replied tightly. Almost six months and it's still a sore subject with her. She doesn't even like hearing his name, let alone Sable's. Since their departure, the two of them got engaged. I know it hurts her. She's having the worst time moving past the last year. The poor girl got betrayed by just about everybody from her best friend to her boyfriend. She's bouncing back, but she still has a little way to go. Jessa poked at her tortellini. "I could use a vacation." We giggled.

"That photo shoot should be good for some R&R, right?" Christy asked. Jessa nodded.

"Then in August we have to start doing the Divas Do New York shoot," she replied. "I just love lingerie shoots."

"Really?" Candice asked. Jessa shook her head.

"I hate posing in my underwear for a bunch of random men."

"I got used to it. I've done worse, to be honest," Candice confessed. She didn't have to say anymore. Jessa and I knew she had dabbled in some adult things before becoming a Diva. Jess and I have always been pretty aware of how difficult it is for an actress to get a big break. It pays the bills, right? Besides, Candice is one of the sweetest people I've ever met. If it doesn't bother her, why should it bother anyone else? "But I hear we get to come up with what we want our shoots to look like. Is that usually how it goes?"

"Yeah," Jessa confirmed, "We're supposed to show off our personalities."

"Have you thought about how yours is going to go?"

"Not yet. I still have a few months." We fell silent and ate lunch, thinking about retail therapy and photo shoots. What a glamorous life the Divas have sometimes.


	5. Jessa Bolt 03

_****_Shane found me backstage. I was stretching out for my upcoming match against Christy Hemme. We were at a house show in Albany, New York, on a beautiful night at the beginning of May. "Wow...I never realized how flexible you are," Shane cracked. I jumped, startled, and just about fell over. He caught me. "Sorry, Jess, I didn't mean to scare you."

"That's all right. I was just lost in thought," I told him, giving him a hug. "What are you doing here? You hardly ever work house shows."

"Well, we are in my neck of the woods, so I thought I'd come in and see everyone," Shane said with a grin. "Dad wanted me to talk to you anyway. He got you two a seat for the American Music Awards." I blinked.

"What?"

"Dad is trying to get some promotions out, so he's sending a Diva and a Superstar to the awards," Shane informed me. "You know how Dad is always looking for more mainstream attention for the WWE."

"All right. When is it?"

"Two Sundays from now."

"All right. Who am I going with?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow. Shane sighed and I knew instantly. "You have to be kidding me, Shane? Really? Your dad is going to send me to the crazy house, you know that, right?"

"Sorry, Jess. Dad's hellbent on pushing him now that he's out of Evolution. People are getting behind him, and Dad wants to capitalize on that." I sighed, leaning against a trunk, shaking my head. Shane laughed. "You really hate him, don't you?"

"I don't even know," I confessed. "I just know I don't like him very much."

"Well, you just have to accompany him to the awards. It's not like you have to share a hotel room with him," Shane said to me with a sparkle in his eye. I nodded. "Besides, he's going to be presenting, so you probably will only really have to see him on the red carpet. He'll probably spend a chunk of the show backstage."

"Fair enough." It's not like I have a choice in the matter. But I am going to have to get myself all dolled up and parade myself out like we're friends. That's not going to be easy for me. I may have been a popular actress in high school, but it doesn't mean I'm a good one.

Shane hugged me. "You look like a million bucks. Good luck out there."

"Thanks. You're too sweet," I told him. He disappeared down the hallway, stopping to talk to Shawn Michaels. I went the opposite way, towards the Gorilla. I practically skipped to the curtain, trying to get my cardio going before I went out to the ring.

I love doing house shows. A smaller venue and a smaller crowd make for a much more intimate experience. I stopped halfway down the ramp and took a photograph with a family, their infant daughter dressed up like John Cena, complete with the pendant. It was absolutely adorable. I had a match against Christy Hemme tonight. She's been busting her ass to become a bona fide wrestler, and she is improving. I beat her with a Bolt Cutter.

Christy left the ring quickly. While my music blared in the arena speakers, I stood on the ropes with my back to the entrance area, playing to the crowd. They were cheering and the flash of cameras was enough to make me go blind. I noticed pretty quickly that the cheers had stopped being of adulation, and more of reaction. A child in the front row was screaming at me.

I got off the turnbuckle and turned around, crashing into Dave Batista. I tripped over my own feet and hit the mat with a loud _thud_. He came towards me, snarling and seething. It's no secret that Dave and I have a very, very rocky relationship. I was the one who told Callie that he had been cheating on her with Sabella. The last time I had a run in with Dave, he and Callie had ambushed Shane and I, leaving us both concussed and leaving me with rib injuries after he put me through the seamstress' table.

I backed away from him as far as I could, not surprised when I felt the firmness of the turnbuckle against my back. I tried to roll out of the ring, but he grabbed me by the hair, dragging me to the center of the ring. I kicked and clawed and shouted, but he didn't care. He wanted to inflict pain. He thinks I'm a bitch.

Dave lifted me like I weighed nothing, by the hair, and let me drop to the canvas. I hit my head. The crowd went up in a shocked "Oh!" I curled up, cradling my head, trying to shake the cobwebs out. I heard cheering. Then I could hear the sound of fighting around me. Then there were hands on me. I flinched and tried to move.

"Jess! Jess, it's me! Breathe!"

I turned, staring into the concerned eyes of Randy Orton. Why am I not surprised to see him out here? I have to admit, though, I was very happy to see him. He helped me sit up and felt the back of my head. "How bad are you hurt?" he asked.

"No worse than the usual. More shaken than anything," I confessed. He nodded, understanding. He helped me to my feet and I got out of the ring. The pain at the base of my skull was a dull throb. Randy was close behind me. I didn't see where Dave went.

All of a sudden, I was off my feet. Randy had picked me up. The crowd went absolutely insane. I felt myself flare with aggravation. Everyone backstage and in the stands is paying attention. I can only imagine what people are thinking, and I can assure all of them that it's not true. "What are you doing?" I whispered angrily.

"Being your knight in shining armor. What do you think?" he answered.

"I don't need you to carry me," I replied indignantly. We made it backstage, but he didn't put me down. I began to struggle. "Put me down, damn you!"

"Okay, okay," he laughed. He set me down and I straightened myself up.

"Don't ever do that again!" I told him fiercely. He smiled. "I'm glad you take me seriously."

"Lighten up, Jess."

"Don't tell me to lighten up," I told him, keeping my angry tone hushed. "Just because you got kicked out Evolution does not mean I automatically trust you." Randy put his arms up in mock surrender.

"Has Shane spoken to you?"

"Of course he has. How did you wrangle that?"

"I didn't. I swear on that. You can even ask Vince _and _Shane," Randy told me. I looked at him, angry to know he was being honest. I don't get why I'm so angry around him. Why I'm so defensive.

"I believe you. Just…don't do that again, okay?" My tone softened. "I'm not some sort of invalid. I'm perfectly fine with walking, all right?"

"Okay, fine. Sorry to step on your toes," he said. Then he smiled. "I don't know about you, Jess, but I'm actually pretty excited to be making this appearance with you. I hope it's the first of many."

"I wish I could say the same. Wait a minute – no I don't." He smiled.

"I love how you act like you hate me."

"I never said I hated you. I just don't like you very much."

"We can work on that."

"You're utterly hopeless," I told him. Throwing my hands in exasperation, I walked down the hallway, leaving him staring after me.


	6. Natalie Landry 03

"Wow, Jess, that's quite the bikini," I commented. In her hands, she held a cute black and rhinestone encrusted bikini. It had a sports bra shaped top with a shining zipper down the middle. There was a zipper and a rhinestone trim around the bottoms as well, shaped in mini shorts.

"It's so cute," she said. "I totally think I'm going to use this for the photo shoot." Candice and Christy had picked out some risqué little numbers. Jessa's never been the type to show off everything she has. She believes in the "less is more" philosophy. She's been incredibly picky about the type of bikinis she's going to wear, turning down some really pretty ones. If I were comfortable wearing two piece bathing suits, I would get them. As it is, I had to settle for some revealing one pieces because Christy and Candice pushed it. They tell me that John would love it, but I'm just not comfortable. Jessa bought six new bikinis for the photo shoot, all of them black with a splash of color. Everyone that knows Jessa knows that she loves her black clothing.

"I heard you're going out to LA in a couple of weeks," Christy said. I looked at Jessa, surprised.

"Where did you hear that?"

"A little birdy told me," Christy replied. Jessa rolled her eyes.

"Would that little birdy have some tribal tattoos and an inferiority complex?"

"…Maybe…"

"Yes, it's true. Vince is shipping Randy and I off to some awards show," she said. "Before you say anything, Natalie, I am not looking forward to it."

"Why not?" Candice asked. "I mean, there are worse things you could be doing than traveling to Los Angeles with that dreamboat." I cocked an eyebrow at Candice.

"Who says dreamboat anymore?" I asked with a laugh.

"Did you see the way he carried her out the other night?" Christy asked, smiling. Her blue eyes were sparkling. She was very quickly becoming one of those people who just wanted to see Jessa and Randy get together. She told me she can sense the sexual tension between the two of them. I just want Jessa to be happy. I don't care who it's with. She just deserves to be happy.

"It was so cute," Candice cooed as Jessa paid for her swimsuits. She was rolling her eyes the entire time.

"Let's not get into this, guys," she said, taking her place beside me as the other Divas paid for their swimwear.

"You're really going to go?" I asked her incredulously. Jessa shrugged.

"It's work. I can't just say, 'No, I'm not going to work with him,'" she told me. "I just have to grin and bear it."

"Do you have a dress yet?" Candice asked.

"No. I'm going to pick one up when I'm in LA. That way I won't have to worry about wrinkling and dry cleaners and other stupid things," she answered. We walked through the mall, coming to the lingerie place. I felt my face redden. I didn't want to go in, but Jessa practically shoved me through the entranceway.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," I told them. Candice grabbed a really tiny pink set. "Oh, no way! No thongs!"

"What about boy shorts? Can we come to a compromise on boy shorts?" Christy asked. I sighed and nodded. I've never felt more embarrassed in my life. Candice was looking at garter belts. "No garters!" I told her.

"Oh, come on…"

"No." Candice huffed and put the garters back. I looked over at Jessa, who was doing her best not to giggle at my expense. She was across the store, looking through a rack. In a few months she has to do a big lingerie shopping for her Divas Do New York shoot. She still doesn't know what her theme is going to be. Probably something pin-up related. She's very fascinated by that whole era of beauty.

I settled on three new sets, one in powder blue, one in baby pink and another in white, before we left. Jess picked up a few new things, which she was relentlessly teased about. She said they are spending the entire weekend in Los Angeles.

"Have you booked all the travel information yet?" Candice asked. We decided to hit up the food court for lunch. Jessa nodded. "What hotel are you going to be staying at?"

"I splurged for the Marriott, since it's LA." Normally, Jessa likes to pick the cleanest, but cheapest hotels. Every couple of years, though, she decides to splurge on an upscale hotel. "Randy offered to do all the travel arrangements, but I told him I could handle my own. The last thing I need is for my reservation to go 'missing'." We laughed. It's just the antic Randy would pull on Jessa. Anything to get her closer. "It's probably for his own good, too. If that were to happen, I'd hate to think of how comfortable the couch is going to be for a weekend."

"You would really let that guy sleep on the couch?" Candice asked. Jessa nodded.

"Question time, Jess: how long has it been since you've had sex?" Christy asked. Jessa and I just about spit our drinks all over the table. Jessa's face flashed red.

"Could you ask that any louder?" Jessa whispered. Christy opened her mouth, but Candice put her hand over Christy's mouth, effectively silencing her.

"She was being sarcastic, Chris," she told her. Then she turned to Jessa. "So…?"

"I'm not going into this," Jessa told them. Christy pouted.

"Why not?"

"Because who I am or am not sharing a bed with isn't anybody's business," she told them.

"I'm going to say it's been months," Christy guessed.

"I'm not confirming or denying it," Jessa said, but she didn't have to. Everyone knows she hasn't really been dating since her breakup, and she isn't the type to engage in one-night stands. She's not comfortable with sleeping with random men, especially since she's a Diva. She'd hate to hear the news that she sleeps around hit the internet.

"What about you, Natalie?"

"I haven't," I said quietly. Candice and Christy's eyes widened.

"We have a few more stops to make today," Christy suddenly said. Jessa rolled her eyes.

"I don't know…"

"John will love you for it, I swear," Christy promised. She whispered something to Candice, who nodded. I instantly felt self-conscious. I mean, I'm pretty resigned to the fact that John and I will probably seal the deal on this upcoming vacation, but it still makes me nervous. Jessa is trying to be reassuring, but until I get past it, I'm going to be a little wigged out about things.


	7. Jessa Bolt 04

I got off the plane at about two in the afternoon and immediately rented a car. The biggest difference between Randy and I has to be our tastes. He likes luxury vehicles, like Hummers and Mercedes. I settled for a red four-door Toyota, complete with directions to the hotel. I wasn't surprised to learn that Randy had already arrived when I checked in. We were both on the fifth floor, at separate ends of the hallway. I took my key card and went to the elevator, wanting to get settled in so I could go out and find a dress.

My hotel room was gorgeous. The walls were high and white, with dark emerald carpeting and a bed that looked sinfully comfortable. It was airy and light, with a big window, a balcony and an amazing bathtub that I couldn't wait to try out. The living room was a decent size, with a big couch and a decent-sized TV, equipped with a DVD player. I put my duffel bag down on the bed and took out my jewellery box, putting it in the nightstand. I put my shoes down beside the dresser. They were a simple pair of black heels, with a rounded toe and made out of fabric. I tried the triangular shaped toe once, but it was just awful.

When I unpacked my light load, I went for a drive. Torrie recommended me to a hairdresser in the area so I didn't have to go out and find one. She even helped me set up an appointment. I found it pretty quickly, and then ventured on, looking for a dress store. I found one about six blocks away, a cute little white brick boutique full of pretty dresses.

People were staring at me the instant I walked in, the toned girl with the bright red and violet hair. I ignored the stares as best I could and walked to a dress rack at the back of the store. I had no idea what I was looking for.

"Excuse me, but are you Jessa Bolt?"

I looked to my left. Standing there was a girl who couldn't be any older than sixteen. I nodded. Her eyes widened, lighting up. "Wow. I'm a huge fan. My name is Bianca Roth. I'm here shopping for my prom dress." She had black hair, streaked with blonde and pulled back into a high ponytail. "What are you here for? Is there a show in the area?"

"No. I'm here for the music awards tomorrow. I'm trying to find a dress."

"Cutting it a little close, aren't you?"

"That's me. I hate clothes shopping," I confided. "I put it off too long."

"Why don't I make you a deal?"

"What's that?"

"I'll help you if you help me. I need to find a prom dress."

"I could use the second opinion. You're on." We both began poring through the racks, moving from green to grey to navy to orange. "Are you getting excited for your graduation?" I asked awkwardly. She nodded. "What are your plans after high school?"

"Broadcast journalism at Berkeley. I'm eventually hoping to get on at ESPN or something." I nodded, pulling out a basic black dress. Bianca shook her head. "You are way too cool for the little black dress, Jessa. You have an electric personality to match your electric hair, so let's try for something bright like you. Bright and daring is the road we go. No black."

"Um…thanks?" I found a hot pink and black striped dress with a belted waist. I cringed. We continued to search for another ten or fifteen minutes before I heard her gasp. I rushed over to her across the store. "What?"

"I found the perfect dress for you!" she gushed, thrusting the garment into my hands. I had to admit it was beautiful. It had a sweetheart neckline with a ruffled miniskirt. The bottom of the skirt and the bodice was trimmed with black lace. It would match the shoes and the jewellery. "You have to get this!" she told me, eyes wide. "It just screams you. Even if you don't wear it to the awards tomorrow, you should just get it." I laughed and looked at the tag. It was going to be a snug fit, but it would fit. Snug is good; the last thing I need is a boob popping out during a photo op. I found another dress that was cute, black with a sweetheart neckline and an electric blue corset around the waist. It was my size, so I got that dress as well, but I knew I was going to go with the pink dress. It was cute, flirty and youthful. That's what I needed for such an event.

I held up my end of the bargain, spending another half an hour to forty-five minutes helping Bianca find the perfect dress. She was even fussier about what she was going to wear than I was, but the senior prom is a big event for any teenage girl. She found a violet dress that she absolutely loved, long and flowing and rhinestone encrusted around the bodice and down the stomach. It was very elegant, very princess-like. I signed an autograph for her, paid for my dress, and headed back to the hotel with my two dresses in black bags.

When I got back, I hung up the dresses in the closet and took a much needed shower. I took an extra while just enjoying the water on my skin. I got out and changed into some sweatpants and a tank top, tying my hair back in a ponytail. I didn't need to be anywhere; I didn't plan on going anywhere, so I wasn't going to glam up. I settled down on the couch and found an old episode of _The Simpsons _on the television, the episode where Bart goes to work at burlesque house. It's one of my favorite episodes. It wasn't long before I heard a knock on the door. I knew who it was. There was only one possibility. With an exhale, I got up and answered the door. He was standing on the other side with a box of pizza in one hand, and a bottle of wine under his arm. Wordlessly, I turned away from him and went back to the couch, sitting down in silence.

"When did you get in?" he asked, kicking the door shut behind him.

"At about two, I think."

"Why didn't you come see me?"

"Because I went and found the hairdresser's building and I went and got my dress," I told him. "Not that I need to be informing you of my whereabouts or anything."

"I was just curious, Little Miss Sunshine," he said to me. He put the box on the coffee table and got two glasses, two plates and a corkscrew from the kitchenette. "I figured you might be hungry since flight food is terrible."

"Thanks," I told him. He sat down beside me, a little too close. I moved over a little. He opened the box.

"Do I get to see the dress you bought?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Not until tomorrow." He pouted. "Oh, cut that out. You're not cute, you know."

"You know I am," he shot back. "I'm sure you'll look like a million bucks."

"Have I ever mentioned that you're too good for my ego?"

"Only every other day." We took a bite of pizza.

"Vince has it arranged that a limousine is going to get us at around four. Do you think you'll have everything ready in time?" he asked. I nodded. "Should we meet down in the lobby?"

"Yeah, that sounds fine for me."

"I can't wait to see it tomorrow night," he told me. "Are you busy tonight?"

I shook my head. "A book and a movie. Adriana is supposed to call."

"How is she doing? I'm hearing she's engaged now." I nodded.

"She's planning the wedding at the moment. She wants to open her own boutique, so she's trying to design some super-cool new outfits for me. She's figuring that since I'm a Diva, it'll give her some free publicity and advertising, since I can point people in her direction if they ask."

"Are you cool with that?"

"Of course I am. She's my friend. I'd crawl over an acre of broken glass for her and Sabella and Natalie."

"Do they have a wedding day set?"

"Not yet. She wants a winter wedding, but that's all she really knows."

"How is Sabella doing?"

"Good. I don't hear from her too much these days. She's back in school."

"What for?"

"Sex therapy."

"Why does that not surprise me?" I shrugged. "Well, tell them I wish them the best."

"Can do."

"So, do you want to go out and enjoy the LA nightlife?" he asked. I shook my head.

"I'm not a party person, Randy. I'm a homebody. I like to stay in, read, cook, watch movies." I looked at him inquisitively. "What about you? Are you going to partake in the LA nightlife? Find some wannabe actress with a big rack to bring back to your room?" He laughed. I swear, there's nothing I can say to this man that pisses him off.

"You're hilarious, Jess," he told me. "I don't think your acerbic humor gets appreciated enough."

"Well, I'm glad you appreciate it," I told him dryly, rolling my eyes.

"I appreciate everything about you," he told me. I shook my head. "I'm serious, Jess. Would you mind if I stayed in with you?"

"I don't know…"

"Oh, come on. Don't be like that. What are you going to watch?"

"_Steel Magnolias."_

He laughed. "Yeah, right. I know you _hate_ those kinds of movies." He sat back on the couch and put his feet on the coffee table. "You and I are stuck together for the weekend, Jessa. You may as well just grin and bear it."

"Don't make me throw you out the window," I said wryly.

"I would love to see you try that," he challenged.

"Anything to get me to touch you," I commented. He shook his head, snickering.

"You're too much."

"Glad you think so." I finished my wine and got up to get my book from my nightstand. He followed me, grabbing me, wrapping his arms around my waist. His body was firm against mine. I could feel the muscles under his arms. "Okay, Casanova, hands off." I was hoping he wouldn't listen, just so I could sock him, but he let me go without issue. I retrieved my book from the nightstand and came back into the living room.

"Do you ever plan on seeing anybody again?"

"I'm sure at some point, if you'd stop putting yourself in the picture."

"Maybe I want you to see me," he told me. I snorted.

"I've seen enough of you to last me two lifetimes." He laughed. "You take me way too seriously."

"I don't think you've seen enough of me," he said with a sparkle in his eye. It was my turn to laugh.

"You're half naked on a nightly basis. I see you enough."

"Come on. Aren't you at least a little curious about what could happen with us?" he asked. I shook my head. "You're lying."

"Randy, I don't sit around and think about dating, all right? I try not to think these days. Thinking sucks."

"Did you really care about him?"

"Of course," I answered. "It's the story of my life. I can't make people care about me half as much as I care about them." His expression softened. Tears were burning behind my eyelids, but I refused to let them spill over.

"I care about you, Jess. I just wish you weren't so defensive with me."

"I know you're not part of Evolution anymore, but you and your group put me through a lot last year. Can you really blame me? For Christ's sakes, I spent more time in a hospital last year than I have in my entire life. I don't think you know just how painful it is to have a cracked _and _a dislocated rib in the same injury." I shook my head. "I know what you were doing, how you were playing both sides. And even though I questioned your motives, I appreciated everything. I knew that you were risking serious bodily harm telling me the things you were telling me."

"Do you blame me for things falling apart?"

"No. I don't."

"You sure act like it," he pointed out. I sighed, aggravated.

"I'm just in a confusing spot, all right? I don't know or like what I'm thinking these days." I looked at him with contempt. "Why am I telling you these things anyway?"

"Because you trust me?"

"I don't trust you."

"We'll just have to work on that, won't we?"

"You're downright impossible, you know that?" I checked their movie guide on the television, settling on _Kindergarten Cop_. Randy cocked an eyebrow at me. "This isn't a democracy," I told him.

"This is fine." We settled on the couch and watched the movie. I felt so awkward, so uncomfortable in my own skin feeling him so close. I could barely concentrate on the movie. I knew having him so close all weekend was going to be a bad idea; he'd never let me breathe.

I felt him shift a little closer, but I acted like he wasn't even there. I thought about Natalie on vacation with John, about how great they are for each other. Callie really let a good thing slide when she left John for Dave. He went to put his arm around me. I looked at him. "Does that ever seriously work?

"I don't know," he answered. "Obviously not, since this is the first time I've tried it."

"I'm sure," I answered dryly. I rolled my eyes and went back to watching the movie.


	8. Natalie Landry 04

I looked at my reflection in the mirror and groaned. My back hurt. My lower stomach ached. I turned on the shower and waited for the water to warm up. In the bedroom, John is fast asleep. He tried to stay awake, God bless him, but he was just too tired. When the water was perfect, I turned on the shower head and stepped inside, closing the glass door behind me. The water felt soothing on my aching muscles.

There's a cheesy term I could use here about becoming a woman, but I'm not going to use it. Jessa was right. It was invasive, uncomfortable and just awkward. I mean, John was romantic, lighting candles and playing soft music, but it doesn't change the fact that what just happened was so weird for me. Candice and Christy assure me that it's going to get better, and it's going to feel a lot better within the next couple of times. I hope so. John was trying his best to be gentle, but how the hell do you make _that _gentle?

I took my time in the shower. I didn't cry, which is a plus. Jessa said she did. Then again, I don't see Brock being a very gentle being in _any _facet. I don't know what attracted her to him, and I don't ask because it's pretty painful for her to talk about. She isn't the type to wish ill on anyone, but I'm sure she wouldn't complain if karma broke Brock's leg or something. I thought about her, all the way in Los Angeles, stuck with Randy Orton. She likes him, and she knows it. She's just too stubborn to admit it to anybody, let alone herself. I at least hope she has fun.

This vacation's been fun, but we're leaving tomorrow. It was nice while it lasted, but Vince didn't want to give John too much time off. After all, he is the champion. He'd blown a gasket when John asked for the time off in the first place. But I was thankful to have the time to ourselves. We left our cell phones at home, left the computers at home. It was just time for him and I. We did everything; swimming, Frisbee on the beach. It's been a really great time.

I took my time, washing my hair thoroughly. I thought about calling Jess, but we're on totally different coastlines. She might be awake, but she might not be at this late hour. When I was satisfied that my muscles couldn't get any looser, I turned off the water and got out. It sounds dumb, but I checked my reflection again in the mirror and searched for any tell-tale signs that I've just had sex. I couldn't find any. Then again, I didn't notice it with Jessa, either. I didn't feel anything different; I didn't feel like a vixen, and I certainly didn't feel fantastic. The only difference is that I feel more of a connection with John, which is probably the best thing to come out of this.

Tomorrow John and I go home, and then the day after that we're back on the road like we never missed a beat. I wish this vacation were a little longer, but John has been waiting for Vince to put all this responsibility on him. He's excited about the new, high-profile chapter of his career, and I can't blame him. I'm just excited to be along for the ride.

I changed into my pajamas and put on my robe. Candice and Christy were right; the new lingerie was a big hit. It didn't last long, though. I hope it was at least all right for him; I had no idea what the hell I was doing. Jess says that gets fixed with practice, that there's no wrong way, but I feel like I may have figured out the wrong way.

I walked back into the bedroom. It didn't take me long to realize I couldn't sleep. I went to the bedroom window and looked at the waves crashing on the beach. The breeze was beautiful, soft and gentle from the open window. I heard a groan.

"Natalie?"

"Sorry," I said, not turning back. I was too spellbound by the crashing waves outside. "I couldn't sleep."

I heard the sound of the covers rustling. John was behind me quickly, wrapping his arms around my waist. I rested my head back against his chest. "Are you okay?" I nodded. I felt his lips on the top of my head.

"Just couldn't sleep," I reiterated.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asked. I didn't have to look at him to know he looked concerned.

"A little bit," I confessed. "But the girls tell me that's normal."

I let him gently lead me back to bed. I knew I didn't regret what had happened. It's simple biology. I curled up underneath the covers and let him draw me closer to him. I tried to be as affectionate as he was, but I was just too lost in thought about things. I guess I'm just a little worried that this is going to make things complicated.


	9. Jessa Bolt 05

It was just after two o'clock in the morning when I made it back to the hotel with Randy in tow. I left him talking on his cell phone in the lobby, making a beeline to the elevator with my high heels in my right hand and my clutch in my left.

Tonight was fun, I have to admit. The red carpet was fun, with Randy laying on the charm real thick. I got a spin, a twirl and a dip on the carpet in front of all sorts of cameras. He played gentleman all night. I have to admit that he can be quite genial when he wants to be. After the show, when I was going to head back to the hotel, Randy talked me into going out to the bar for a few drinks with some local rock band whose name I didn't catch. Randy said he met them a few years back, just before he joined up with Evolution. I was going to hold firm and just come back – I have an early flight back out to Manhattan in the morning – but Randy got the band in on it, so I ended up caving and going to the bar. Even though I didn't want to be there, it was still fun. At least, I was having fun until a drunken idiot manhandled me, invoking Randy's ire. After that, I decided it was a good idea that we left. Vince is still working at rehabbing Randy's "WWE Bad Boy" image, and a barroom brawl isn't going to help matters.

I walked into my hotel room and instantly started pulling bobby pins out of my hair as I walked over to the couch and sat down. I took out my earrings and placed them on the table with the bobby pins. Going out and getting glammed up was fun while it lasted, but I really wanted to get back into my sweatpants. I looked at my wrist, still red and chafed from where the drunken idiot grabbed me. He had taunted me about Brock. I didn't realize so many details were out to the casual fans, which makes me feel even worse.

There was a knock on the door. I knew it was Randy. I got up and answered the door. He walked in. "I'm sorry about what happened tonight, Jess. Some people…" I shrugged, but I was feeling pretty depressed. The guy had called me a whore because I refused to dance with him. In my defence, I was busy having a conversation when he approached. The guy had an attitude like I owed him something, despite the fact I'd never seen him before. I looked down at my dress, covered in the glass of red wine he had tossed. He missed my face, thank God, but I'm not sure if it's going to come out of this dress.

"I could have hurt him if I wanted to," I told him. He took my hand in his and examined my wrist.

"I'm sorry, Jess…"

"It's not your fault." I pulled my hand away from his. "He hit below the belt in a lot of ways…"

"I wish you would have let me…"

"I saved you a meeting with Vince when we get back." He smirked.

"Always thinking about me, aren't you?"

"Not half as much as you think about me, I suppose." His eyes were still glazed with slight drunkenness. He ran his hand through my hair. "What time does your flight leave tomorrow?"

"I have to be at the airport in two hours."

"I do, too. I was just getting ready to clean up and pack."

"Turn around." I looked at him oddly. "You need to get out of that dress. You had a hard enough time getting into it earlier, remember?"

I nodded and turned, allowing him to unzip my dress. When it was down all the way, I felt his fingertips moving down my spinal column, to the base. I heard his breath hitch. Mine was beginning to shake a little, but I steadied myself and turned around. "Thanks," I managed. "You should probably go. There isn't much time to get ready and go to the airport."

He nodded, but I could see the disappointment in his eyes. He touched my face before he let himself out of my hotel room. I went and took a shower and got into more comfortable clothing. My cell phone rang as I was getting ready to leave the room. It was Shane. I answered. "I'm going to kill your father," I told him. He laughed.

"It went that well, did it?"

"I haven't had a chance to breathe this weekend. He's been right there!" I told him. Shane laughed.

"He likes you."

"Oh, I know he does," I answered, turning off the bedroom light. I did a last double-check to make sure I remembered everything before I left the room. "What can I do for you?"

"Not too much. I thought I'd check in on you since it's been a few days. What do you say we go out for drinks on Monday after the show?" I laughed. "What?"

"I don't want to go anywhere near a bar for a long time." I filled him on what happened not even an hour ago. Shane whistled low. "Yeah. No partying for me for a while."

"That's horrible, Jess. How did all the stuff about you and Brock make it out?"

"Isn't it obvious? Somebody leaked it online. I'm going to bet Callie, since she's got nothing better to do."

"I'm sorry, Jess. That must have been so humiliating."

"It was," I admitted. "If it's any consolation, I saved your dad a PR nightmare."

"How is that?"

"Randy was going to kill the guy, especially after he threw the wine on me. I dragged him out with me."

"He threw wine on you? God, some people…I'm sorry you had to go through that, Jessa."

"It's fine. I'll get over it. I'm just not used to dealing with such belligerent assholes, to be blunt."

"Well, on behalf of my father, thank you for getting Randy out of there."

"No problem."

"So what are you up to?"

"Checking out of the hotel, and then I'm heading out to the airport. How about you? You're up early."

"Yeah, Dad wanted me to run over a few things for a presentation I have to do in Shanghai this weekend. I couldn't sleep, so I figured I may as well look over everything now. Dad is sending Trish and Shawn with me, which means it's going to be the most boring weekend ever." Shane is a notorious partier. Trish and Shawn, not so much.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's fine. I'll let you go so you can be on your way. Have a safe flight. I will see you Monday."

"See you Monday. Bye, Shane." I hung up the phone before approaching the front desk to check out. Randy was already gone. He thinks he's wearing me down. He's probably right. I've never met somebody so persistent in my entire life. I'm trying to shove him away with everything I have, but he just won't move.

I suppose I owe him _something_. What, I don't know. But he spent over a year playing two sides, trying to keep me safe while keeping himself protected. I knew it would work for so long. I'm sure they were suspicious of him long before they booted him out of Evolution.

I thought about that creep at the bar tonight. I don't advertise my private life very much,, and I certainly don't advertise my sex life. But I had a sneaking suspicion that this was something Callie leaked, because she's vengeful and sitting out with injury. She's always going to hate me. She says I controlled her, that I held her back. I know it's not true, but it blows me away just how seriously she believes it. I think she holds me responsible for Dave and Sabella, but that has nothing to do with me. Since Sabella is gone and no longer in contact with Callie, I guess somebody has to take the blame. Why can't it be me?

That's the danger of pro wrestling becoming an "internet sport". People think they know who we are, and they cast judgment on what they've read or what they've heard. It's not the case. I get that I've sold a piece of myself to become a WWE Diva, but I'm still a human being with a right to keep certain things private. That includes who I sleep with, or who I don't sleep with. Maybe I'm over-thinking, but it's embarrassing and upsetting to think that there are people out there who think they know my life better than I do. It's just not the case.


	10. Natalie Landry 05

Adriana got off the plane. I was there to meet her, a big smile on my face. I rushed to her and gave her a hug. "God, it's been forever since I've seen you!" I told her, hugging her tightly. Adriana laughed and hugged me back. Things got pretty hairy last year, but with Callie getting injured; it finally feels like things are lightening up again.

"It's good to see you." We haven't told Jess that Adriana is coming out with some new outfits for her. I thought it would be a good surprise since she's been under so much the past year and a half. "I can't wait to see what you've designed for Jess. It's about time she got rid of the slacks and tank tops." We walked towards the baggage claim.

"How was your vacation with John?" she asked. Something flickered in my eyes, I imagine, because she nodded. "Don't worry, Nat. It does get better." We waited for a couple minutes before she picked her bag out of the group. "Any word on how Jessa's weekend went? I know she was irate to be stuck with Randy."

"She acts like she's irate," I laughed. "I think she likes him."

"Jessa? No way."

"I think so," I told her. "She's resisting, but I can see it. I almost think it would be good for her, Ade. The longer she stays single, the longer she's going to hang onto all of that stuff with Brock." Adriana nodded. "He messed her up pretty good. I still can't believe what a pig he turned out to be." I put a smile on my face. "How are the plans going?"

"Good. Sabella picked out her dress already, but I need you and Jess to agree on a bridesmaids dress. I was hoping we could do that tonight."

"Are you getting nervous at all?"

"Kind of, I guess. Rene is pretty much leaving all the planning to me."

"Does he know you're here?"

"Yeah, he does. It's just that I wanted an extra day to do a few errands before I came out." We walked towards my car. "So, Jessa and Randy Orton, huh?" I nodded. "They would make adorable children." I laughed.

"We're not going to tell Jessa you said that."

"I would appreciate that. But don't you agree?"

"I think they would. They'd make a cuter pairing than Brock and Jessa did, that's for sure. But she really doesn't trust him," I told her. "I mean, we can't really blame her. Just because they caught onto him and kicked him out of Evolution doesn't erase everything she had to deal with."

"I know how she's feeling, though. She doesn't want to get screwed over again. Between Callie and Brock last year, I'm amazed she didn't drop everything and go hide in the mountains," Adriana confessed. "She had so much to deal with."

"Do you think Brock cared for her?"

"I'm sure he did. He's a dick, but he's not a total monster," she replied. "I think he didn't have the guts to try and hurt her, what with us, John, Shane and Kurt around. I'd hate to think he just used her and discarded her, even if Jessa feels that way."

"Did you want to stop for lunch before we go to the arena?" I asked. Adriana nodded. "I think Randy really likes Jess, Ade. If he just wanted to get into her pants, I think he'd have given up by now. I mean, it's been a year and a half."

"I know. I don't think I've heard about him going on a date in a long time," I confessed. "He's always around Jessa anyway, so I don't know where he'd find the time to pursue other women."

"What do you think we should do if they get together?" she asked. I shrugged.

"Support them. Jess deserves to be happy, and if Randy makes her happy that's what should matter. But we keep an eye on him." Adriana nodded.

"Right. If he fucks up, we fuck him up."

"Exactly," I laughed. We stopped at an Arby's drive-thru for lunch. "Do we tell Jess this?"

"I wouldn't; she's still pretty defensive on the subject. We'll just wait till it happens."

"Yeah; I don't think it's going to be much longer before it happens," I admitted.

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah," I told her. "I can see it; she's trying so hard to fight it. She thinks he's Satan, but she's attracted."

"Good girls always like the bad ones, right?" I nodded. We ordered lunch and pulled into a parking space to eat. "It'd be nice to see her happy again. She's been stuck under her little storm cloud for so long. It's like nobody's been able to pull her out."

"I know. Shane's really been trying. They went on a date, you know."

"What? Jess and Shane?" Adriana just about spit her soda all over the place. I nodded. "When was this?"

"A while ago. Don't say anything about it, because Jess and Shane don't want it out there. But they had a date. It didn't work out between the two of them, and they've managed to stay friends."

"Wow."

"It was just one dinner."

"Still, though…" Adriana bit into her sandwich. "I think she looks cuter with Randy anyway. I never could figure out what she saw in Brock. I always thought he was a jacked up asshole."

"I didn't know what to think of him. I think it's because I hardly got to know him. I was so busy starting things with John at the time."

"Well, I'm glad that things are still going well for the two of you." I nodded. "Outside of…_that_…how was the vacation?"

"Good. We spent a lot of time on the beach, as you can tell. I got a nice crisp to the skin now," I joked. "It wasn't long enough of a vacation, but Vince is starting to rely on John pretty heavily now and he's desperate to prove that he can handle it. I can't complain; this is what he's been waiting for since he started."

"I'm glad you at least had fun."

"Have you thought about your honeymoon?" I asked. She nodded.

"We're going to head to the Cape Cod area. I hear it's beautiful, but I don't really remember being there."

"It should be nice," I told her with a smile. After we finished eating, we went to the arena. I can't wait to see the look on Jessa's face when she sees Adriana came for a surprise visit.


	11. Jessa Bolt 06

I sat in the makeup chair after getting my hair done. I have a match against Victoria later on tonight, which I'm pretty excited for. She's a friend of mine, and it's like the two of us are incapable of having a bad match. Since she's the heel, she's dressed in black tonight, so I added a splash of color to my wardrobe in the shades of blue and white. Jane, our makeup lady, was genuinely surprised when I walked up to her in a color that wasn't black. She's having all sorts of fun with my makeup as a result tonight.

"How was your time in LA?" she asked. She was finishing a very bold, punkish look on my eyes, complete with liquid eyeliner and winged eyelashes. Since I got here tonight, I've been getting bombarded with questions about my time in the City of Angels. I think only a person or two tried to imply something happened between Randy and I. Trish was one of them; she got a slap in the chops for her effort. She's pouting because she wanted to go to LA with Randy. Instead, she's getting sent to Shanghai with Shane McMahon and Shawn Michaels.

"It was pretty good. I got to go for drinks with a local band," I told her. She motioned for me to be quiet while she worked at my lips. I haven't seen Natalie yet; John said she was running late. He seemed a little bit worried about something, but neither of us had the time to stop and chat. Maybe later.

"Excuse me, Jane. I'd like a moment with Jessa. _Alone_."

I opened my eyes. Jane was gone. Dave Batista was in my face, a smirk tugging at his lips. "Hello, Jessa." He looked me over. "I must say you look very sexy tonight." He shifted to one foot. It was all that I needed; I shifted just right and snuck past him out of my chair. He followed me closely, cornering me against a wall. He put his arms on either side of me, keeping me in place. "How was LA? Did Randy finally get what he was looking for? I bet he did."

I snorted. "He wishes."

"Oh, I know he does." His right hand came up to toy with my hair. "Did he tug on your hair, Jess? Is that the sort of thing you're into?" I felt nauseous. Just when I thought he couldn't be any more of a pig. He brought his hand to my face. I turned my head away, but he grabbed my jaw roughly, turning me to face him, to look into his sleazy brown eyes. "Don't play Miss Innocent, Jessa. We both know you have nothing to play shy about."

"I wish Callie would wake up and see you for the pig you are," I told him angrily. He tried to touch my face again, but I smacked his hand away. He grabbed me again roughly, his fingers pressing into my jaw. It hurt.

"I heard you taste like peppermint, Jessa," Dave told me. My eyes narrowed. "I think I want to find out."

"Get off me!" I snapped, but it was hard to speak with the way he was grabbing my jaw. He pressed his lips to mine, using his tongue to part my lips. I began to struggle. I clawed at his arm, tried to bite his evasive tongue, but he didn't react to the fact that I was scratching him. He pulled away with a grin. "Go on, Jess. Kick me. Scratch me."

I did something I'm not proud of, that I would never do otherwise. I spit in his face.

When he backed away, I made my move to leave, but he grabbed me, dragging me back into him. Around us, there were technicians and other Divas watching us, most of them with disgusted looks on their face. I couldn't tell if they were at Dave or at me. Dave dragged me out of their view. I looked to Lita, who was taking off down the hall, hopefully to find somebody.

We were in the area where the other guys usually shadowbox for the cameras, a loading dock. "Did you like that little scene you made?" he asked me. He was hurting my wrist, the same wrist that the drunken idiot had tried to grab. Hopefully Lita will let me borrow one of her wristbands for tonight.

"Get your hands off of me." He knows that Callie and I aren't speaking, so he figures I won't tell Callie about this. He's probably right. I told her that he slept with Sabella, and it didn't do anything. So what would be the point of telling her this? She'd accuse me of being a jealous liar anyway.

He groped my butt. I slapped him. "Callie said you used to be fat." What an eloquent son of a bitch…

Dave spun around quick and went down even quicker. I looked to see Randy. "I've never been so happy to see you in my life," I told him. Tears were welling up behind my eyelids, threatening to destroy my makeup. Randy smiled, and then frowned at Dave, kicking him hard in the ribs. Dave grabbed Randy's leg and they both went down.

"Jess!"

I turned and saw Lita approach with about six referees in tow. She approached me and gave me a hug. "Are you all right?" she asked. I nodded, but my hands were shaking. She took my hand and studied my wrist. Then she took off the leather band on her arm and clasped it around mine so the fans wouldn't see it.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"It's what friends are for," she told me with a smile. We watched as the referees separated Randy and John. "Thank God Randy got here when he did. By the time I got back with the referees, you two were gone. I wouldn't have known where you were had Stacy not pointed me in the right direction."

"Well, I'm glad." Lita's face darkened.

"He left his fingerprints on your face."

"I figured. He grabbed me pretty hard a few times." Dave was dragged away. Randy insisted he was fine, that they could let him go. When they released their hold on him, he came right to me.

"Jesus." He grabbed my face and traced the fingerprints with his fingertips. "I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner."

"How did you know?"

"Trish. I overheard her talking to Christian in catering." I hugged him. He was surprised, I could tell, because he stood with his arms out for a moment. Then he hugged me back. "Anything to touch me," he teased.

"Shut up."

"I'm going to run," Lita told me. I nodded and thanked her for her help. She left, leaving me alone with Randy in the loading dock. We were silent for a few moments.

"I guess I owe you one, don't I?"

"I'm not keeping score, Jess," he told me. "I could kill him, though…"

"I must be an Asshole Magnet or something," I told him. He laughed. "I do owe you one, Randy. Are you busy next week…Thursday, maybe?"

"I don't have any plans," he told me.

"Kari's coming out, but why don't you come over for dinner? It's the least I can do," I told him. My eyes were still watching the area where the referees had dragged Dave away. "Does that sound like a plan?"

"Absolutely, Jess. I'll be there."


	12. Natalie Landry 06

Jessa told us all about what happened with Dave when we met up in her hotel room for drinks at the end of the night. Adriana picked up a bottle of wine, while Shane brought two bottles of vodka. Not to be outdone, John brought a bottle of Jack Daniels. Lita arrived with some White Zinfandel. Jessa told us she invited Lita, so we let her in with a cheer. We were all sitting on the floor in Jessa's hotel room, shaking our heads as Jessa told us about Dave's assault. About how Randy came and rescued her when her attempts to escape weren't enough.

"That's so scary, Jess," Shane replied. "I'll talk to Dad and get some disciplinary action for Dave. That's just unacceptable on a thousand levels."

"Thanks, Shane. I appreciate that." Lita gave her a pat on the back. She still looked visibly shaken, even though it happened hours before. Shane flashed a reassuring smile. "It's a good thing Randy stalks me, otherwise I would have been in a lot of trouble." She managed a laugh, prompting us to laugh with her. "Anyway, enough with the awful shit for the night, because Adriana is here!" We all cheered and took a shot of Jack Daniels. Adriana laughed.

We'd already gone over the dress design. I was surprised that Jessa and I were so agreeable. Then she gave Jessa some new ring attire, which Jessa fawned over. Shane liked it, too. He gave Adriana a big hug when he saw her. I know he still likes Jessa, but they both know it could never work. At least he's not creepy about it like Kurt Angle can be. I don't know how long it's been since they've spoken. Jessa never brings him up anymore. Their friendship was really damaged by the entire situation with Brock.

There was a knock at the door. Jessa cocked an eyebrow, but went and answered the door. Chris Jericho stood on the other side, a beer in one hand and an acoustic guitar in the other. "Chris?"

"I heard there was a party going on in here. Mind if I cut in?"

"Sure," she said with a laugh, stepping to the side. "What's with the guitar?"

"I have no idea," he confessed. "I'm really drunk." We doubled over with laughter. "I'm seriously so drunk that I forgot your room number. I think I woke up like six people before you answered the door."

"Oh, my God!" we laughed. Jessa was holding onto the wall, she was laughing so hard.

"Anyone here knows how to play one of these things?" he asked. Lita shook her head; like Chris, she plays the bass guitar. John shook his head. Shane definitely shook his head. Jessa took the guitar away from him and sat down on the couch. We watched as she began to pick away and strum away. She looked up at us, saw the expression on our faces.

"What?" she asked. "I took classes on it in high school."

"You never told me that you knew how to play," I said. Adriana nodded. Jess shrugged.

"Sorry, guys. You never asked." She smiled. "I hardly have any time to play these days anyway."

"Did you ever play in bands?" Chris asked. Jessa shook her head.

"No. I just play for fun. My dad plays, too, so we get together every now and then and jam."

"What style do you play?" Chris asked. His eyes were wide. He's really smashed. John had to lead him to the couch to sit down because he looked like he was ready to go down.

"Typically rock. I wanted to learn how to play like Killswitch Engage, but that didn't work out," she said with a laugh. "I'm actually working at learning a seven-string right now."

"Jeez, Jess…" I started. She's right; nobody ever really knows her. There's just so much to her. I know a lot about her because I've known her for years, but there are things that she's never told me. Like this.

"We should do a jam next week," Lita suggested. Her eyes lit up. "I'll bring my bass. We can get Chris to do vocals or something. Have a musical powwow after the show."

"Totally, but we should get Nat in on this," Jessa told everybody. "She's a great singer, too."

I felt myself blush red. She always throws that out there. John wants me to do something on his album, but I don't think I'm ready to put my voice out there. Jess flashed me a smile. I laughed at the way Chris was looking at me, as if he had just noticed I was in the room. The best part of it all? I'm sitting right beside him, on the floor. God, he is so drunk.

"Are you going to be all right, Chris?" I asked. He nodded.

"This is nothing."

"He's right about that," Shane replied.

"You'd know," Jessa teased. Shane nodded. I've heard that he's quite the party animal, but I've never seen anything that would make me suggest that he was less-than-professional. Jessa's told me some stories, though. Stories that involve alcohol poisoning and high temperatures.

John slid over to me and draped an arm over my shoulders. I rested my head against his shoulder as Jessa began to play some sad song on the guitar that Chris recognized and started drunkenly singing to. I noticed Lita and John knew the words, too. Before I knew it, we were all belting the song out at the top of our lungs while Jessa laughed, strumming away at Chris's mystery guitar.


	13. Jessa Bolt 07

_****_I checked my reflection in the mirror again and sighed. I was dressed in simple black slacks and a light blue sweater that clung to me like a second skin. After a moment, I decided that the sweater wasn't good enough. I started rifling through my dresser for another shirt, settling on a basic black V-necked shirt with quarter sleeves. I fluffed my hair and re-applied my lip gloss.

In the kitchen, the lasagna was cooking in the oven, with homemade garlic bread on the counter, ready to go into the oven in about an hour or so. I already prepped a salad that was contained in the fridge. I spent all this morning multitasking, mopping and vacuuming. Last night I made a strawberry banana cheesecake that's pretty set in the fridge.

"Wow. You're really going all out for this guy, Jess," Kari commented from the doorway. I had explained to her vaguely about what happened on Monday, being careful not to name names. I looked at my makeup; I swear it took at least a pound of foundation to hide the light bruising on my jawline. "All this for a guy you hate, huh?"

"I don't hate him; I just don't trust him, Kari. There's a difference," I told her with a smirk. "Anyway, he's been kind of saving my ass a lot lately, so I kind of owe him dinner at the very least." She nodded. She was dressed like her typical hippie self, in a long denim skirt that she drew on. Her shirt was tie-dyed and tied at the waist. Her wrists were adorned with all sorts of colorful bangles and beaded bracelets, her hair tied back with a Bob Marley bandana.

There was a knock on the door. "You want to get that?"

"Not really, but I guess I will." I threw a stuffed animal at her retreating figure. She flashed me her middle finger. I shook my head and applied some mascara to my eyes as I heard Kari give her usual greeting of indifference. "Jess, your boyfriend is here!"

"Oh, that little…" I murmured. I stepped out of the bedroom and came down the stairs. Randy was in the entrance area, sliding off his shoes. In one hand he had a bottle of wine, and in the other he had a bouquet of flowers. "Hi, Randy," I said. "Forgive my sister."

"It's fine," he laughed. He handed me the flowers and gave me a kiss on the cheek. He is too charming for his own good. "What are you making?"

"Lasagna. That's okay, right? I probably should have asked…" He laughed.

"It's fine." I stopped, caught myself and laughed. "I'll go put these in water, and I'll put the wine in the fridge. Dinner's still about an hour off." I knew he was going to show up early, though. I gave him a once over. He looked good. Just a plain black T-shirt and faded blue jeans. I disappeared into the kitchen and put the wine in the fridge. I filled up a vase of water and put the flowers in, putting them on the dining room table. I turned, crashing into Randy.

"How are you?" he asked.

"I'm all right." He took my hand and stared at the bruise on my wrist. Between the asshole in LA and the asshole in the locker room, it looked pretty ugly. He kissed the bruise. I shook my head, rolled my eyes and removed my hand from his grasp. "You don't know when to quit, do you?"

"It got me dinner, didn't it?"

"Punching out Dave Batista got you dinner," I told him with a laugh.

"I guess I need to do that more often." I laughed. "You look great, Jess."

"You always think so."

"Well, you always do."

"Thanks again for Monday night," I told him. He dismissed it with a wave. I haven't gone into all the details with him about what happened, but the things he said to me still gave me a chill. Randy gave me a hug, obviously sensing that I was still kind of bothered about what happened.

"He always was a sleazebag. Frankly, Jess, I think Dave and Callie are meant for each other," he told me. "I know you still care about her, but it's true." I nodded; I couldn't really think of anything else to say. "Can I help you prep for dinner at all?"

"Maybe you can set the table for me while I fix everything up. I made a cheesecake for dessert."

"_You _made a cheesecake?"

"I like to cook and bake, you know. I'm not like Natalie. That girl could burn water." He followed me into the kitchen and I started handing him plates, forks, knives and bowls. While he was setting that up, I took out three wine glasses. I checked the lasagna it was starting to get golden on top. I made a huge batch; I'm going to have leftovers for a week. It's my mother's recipe, though, and it always makes big batches. To be honest, this was the third lasagna I've made today, but I wasn't about to tell Randy that. The others are already cooled, wrapped, dated and in the deep freeze.

He came back for the glasses, flashing me a smile before he disappeared. I shook my head. I mixed the salad and took out a couple different dressings. Like a boomerang, he came in and out, setting things on the table while Kari sat on the couch watching some documentary on Phil Ochs. I straightened up the kitchen and then pulled out the lasagna, bringing it to the dining room. "Kari, dinner!" I called.

It was a quiet, awkward dinner. I think because Kari was here. She didn't really acknowledge him, and I think it made him uncomfortable, which made me uncomfortable. We ate quietly, sipping on wine. "I'm thinking about heading out after dinner, if that's okay," Kari piped up. She didn't look at Randy or I when she said that.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't it be okay?"

"Because I'm going to need to borrow your car," she answered.

"You know where I keep the keys," I told her. Now she looked at Randy.

"I'm going to go see a movie," she said. "You two could probably use some time to visit."

"You don't have to leave, Kari," I told her. She smiled.

"It's fine. I kind of need some me time. Being stuck around you…"

"Oh, shut up!" I laughed. "You're at least staying for dessert, right?"

"I'll have some when I get back," she told me. I shrugged.

"What kind of cheesecake?"

"Strawberry banana." He cocked an eyebrow.

"She makes it all the time. It's really good," Kari told him. "I come here and she fattens me up." I rolled my eyes. She's actually five pounds underweight, so she's just being dramatic when she starts the fat talk. Unlike me, she's never had to worry about dieting and working out and counting calories.

Kari finished her dinner fairly quickly. After she put everything into the dishwasher, she grabbed my keys, slipped on her jacket and bid us goodbye. When she left, Randy snickered. "Bundle of sunshine, isn't she?"

"Always," I answered with a laugh.

"Younger, right? I remember you telling me…"

"Yeah, she's younger. It shows, doesn't it?" We laughed. We finished dinner. He helped me put everything away. I pulled the cheesecake out of the fridge and took out two forks.

"What about your sister?"

"She should have been here," I said. I snickered. "Nah; I always make more than one, especially if I have company." The cakes are usually relatively small, but cheesecake is my Achilles Heel. He took a forkful and brought it to my mouth. I rolled my eyes, but humored him. "You're really trying, aren't you?"

"You're finally seeing that, huh?" he teased. He took a bite and took a moment to revel in it. His eyes lit up like I had brought him back to life. "Wow. That is good."

"I've always seen it," I told him. "It's not my fault your reputation precedes you."

"What reputation?"

"Womanizer, bad boy, all around douche…"

He laughed. "I'll admit; I've earned some of it. In my defense, I was trying to fit in."

"You're not supposed to fit in; you're supposed to stand out." He smiled.

"You sure you don't have family in this business?"

"Nope; I'm a first," I told him. We finished about half the cheesecake before I wrapped it up and put it back in the fridge. "My family actually hates wrestling, to be honest. They like the money, and they like that I'm doing well so I can take care of everyone, but they consider this an ends to the means sort of thing."

"That sucks," he said. I shrugged.

"It's my life. This is what I wanted, broken bones and all." I sat on the edge of the counter, letting my legs dangle. "I've been defending my love for this business since I was a little girl. I'll continue to do it until I die. It's just how I feel." I thought about Brock, how he had wanted me to leave all of this behind, to go with him. I couldn't do it. I resented him for wanting me to make that kind of a choice. This is part of the package. It may not seem like the best of deals, but it's a take it or leave it kind of thing. He smirked.

"You know, Jess, you're actually a sweetheart when you're not on the defensive," he informed me. I laughed.

"Thanks?" I laughed. "I tend not to go on the defensive in my own home. I can just ask people to leave."

He shook his head, chuckling. "Come on. Be honest with me. You can't seriously say you haven't thought about….this?" He pointed between the two of us. I sighed. "Be honest, Jess."

"I have, all right?" I admitted. It tasted bitter in my mouth to admit it. "I'm really, really confused, okay? And to be honest, I don't think the two of us could ever work."

"Because you don't trust me," he deadpanned. I nodded. He took a step towards me. My days of feeling threatened by him were long gone. My energy to be hostile was long gone. How could I have energy to be defensive and hostile? It's been a very long week. "I'm not perfect, Jess. I'm not even going to pretend that everything that's happened in the last eighteen months didn't happen. It did, and I did some stuff I'm not proud of. I also did a lot to protect you. You can't say that I didn't."

"I know you did."

"I'm not going to ask you to leave this. I'm not going to ask you to do anything you aren't okay with, or make you feel like an idiot because you don't want to do something. I just want a shot, Jess." I sighed.

"Randy…"

"Jess, I'm serious. I know there's something there. I know you feel it, too, and I know you don't like it. You're freaked out. I get that. I'm not Brock Lesnar, Jess. He had no idea what a diamond you are."

"And you do." My tone was dry, sarcastic. I felt myself becoming defensive again, and I know he could sense it.

"I do, Jess, but I need you to let me prove it."

"Level with me, Randy. Are you just saying this to get in my pants? Don't lie to me."

"I'm not going to lie. I want to get into your pants," he smirked. "I mean, you can't blame me. You're so different from every other girl I've ever met. You fascinate me."

"You don't need to compliment me."

"I do, though. Seriously, you don't get how fucking awesome you are!" he told me, his eyes lighting up. His shoulders slumped. "I just want a chance, Jess. That's it. There's no ulterior motive here. I just want a chance. Can you give me that?"

I thought about it. I've been holding on to so much disgust and contempt for him over things he didn't really do. I lumped him in with Evolution, the whole guilt by association thing. I've never taken an RKO. He's never done anything to make me think I was in danger. He played both sides and risked one hell of a beating – which he eventually took – to keep me one step ahead of Evolution. I looked in his eyes. They seemed sincere. But I'd thought the same thing about Brock. Randy came closer, placing his hands over mine.

"I'm not asking you to hop into bed with me right this moment. I'm not asking you to marry me. I just want a chance to show you that I'm not the dick you think I am. Is that fair?"

"It's fair," I admitted with a sigh. He brought his hand up to touch my face, his thumb running along my lip. The tenderness in his touch caught me by surprise; his touch was soft, something I wasn't used to. As anyone could imagine, my last boyfriend wasn't exactly a cuddly teddy bear. I looked up at Randy, the first man I'd ever kissed – against my will at the time, I should add. His lips touched mine gently. When he was aware I wasn't going to push him away this time, he pressed his lips to mine a little harder. He didn't take it any further, backing away.

"You won't regret this," he promised.

"I hope so."


	14. Natalie Landry 07

"I can't believe it – you seriously cashed in your V-card!"

"What?"

It was my standard three days off. I agreed to a lunch date with Sabella, who was working part-time with her mom's wedding planning company. In the past couple months, Sabella has learned how to cope with the absence of Jessa and Adriana in her life; initially, Sabella had a full-on nuclear meltdown, blaming everyone and everything for what she thought was wrong with her life. Her views on the wrestling business are tinged with a little bit of bitterness, which shows only briefly before she repents.

"You fucked John Cena!" Sabella announced, a little too loudly. I felt my face flush a bright red that heated up my neck and my cheeks. As usual, Sabella looked terrific, dressed in an airy white flowing shirt and a short denim skirt that showed off her perfectly tanned legs. Years ago, she mastered the art of the "fake and bake", as Jessa likes to call it. Her ginger hair was curled and styled just right, with a giant floppy hat on her head. Her sunglasses took up half of her face, her lips a glossy, neutral color. She looked like a movie star. Sometimes, I wonder why John wastes his time with a frumpy, girl-next-door like me when he's surrounded by glamorous women all the time. I'm nothing compared to them.

"Could you announce that any louder?" I asked through gritted teeth. Sabella smirked. Nothing shames her.

"I probably could, but then you'd be embarrassed. So…how was it?"

"Awful," I answered. "Why do you like it so much?"

"It gets better with time, believe me," she said. The waiter arrived. We were sitting at a nice little outdoor café in downtown Kelowna, staring out at the beach.

"Jessa's still waiting," I commented. Sabella laughed.

"Yeah, well look at the Neanderthal she fucked," she replied dryly. I could sense her eyes lighting up as her lips curled back in a smile. "I'll bet you that she hasn't had anybody else since Brock Lesnar, even though we both know Randy Orton is _dying _to get a piece of that." I blinked. "What? I might not be there anymore, but some things never change." I nodded; she definitely had a point there. Life in the WWE seems to be its own alternate reality, with the real world like something of a double life. "How are things with Jessa and Orton?"

"I don't know. She doesn't talk about it. She's playing it really close to the vest." The waiter brought us our cappuccinos. "I don't know if she's being overly careful or if there's nothing to tell. After all, they only got together two weeks ago." It was still buzzing around the locker room. Everybody was stunned that Jessa was giving Randy Orton a chance. I don't want to tell Jessa – I'd never want to hurt her – but there is a pool going around backstage about how long it is going to last between them. Randy's reputation as a bad boy precedes him. Everyone thinks it's only a matter of time before he screws everything up. The people who really adore Jessa are watching the situation carefully – Edge, Jericho, Lita. Along with myself, John, Sabella and Adriana. We don't trust Randy; we can't figure out where Jessa did a one-eighty.

"Do you think his intentions are sincere with her?" Sabella asked. I sighed.

"I really wish I knew," I confessed. "I'd hate to see Jess get screwed over again, though."

"She's tough like Teflon, though. She'll manage," Sabella assured me. "So…it's safe to assume things are going well with John Cena?"

"As well as can be," I confirmed. "Have you spoken to Adriana lately? She hasn't been returning my emails."

"Yeah, she does that," Sabella said dryly. "She's doing all right. I'm going to be the Maid of Honor at her wedding." The waiter arrived and set down our sandwiches. Mine was roast beef; Sabella opted for a turkey sandwich. "You, Jessa and her cousin Amber are going to be bridesmaids."

"That's great!" I wish I was a little more excited, but I've been worrying too much about Randy Orton and his plans with Jessa. Plus I've been worrying about my relationship with John. I sighed. "Sabella, what if I just don't enjoy it?" Sabella took off her glasses, her perfectly made up eyes sympathetic.

"That's fine, too. But you really should be talking this stuff over with your boyfriend," Sabella told me. "I know it's a totally lame conversation to have, but he's the one who's really going to help solve the problem. Besides, how many times have you had it now?"

"Three or four," I confessed. I always used to find it odd that people counted that sort of thing, but I can't help but do it now. It's so weird. I felt myself blush – I'm doing that a lot lately. "It's certainly not what they tell you in the books." Sabella laughed.

"That is true," she said. "Most women don't realize that until they've done it, though." She bit into her sandwich. "Are you busy today?"

"No. I'm just enjoying my days off before I have to get back on the road. Jess is talking about taking a vacation during the summer with John and I. Has she talked to you about it? I know she wanted to bring you, Ade and Rene along."

"No, she hasn't, but I get that she's been busy," Sabella replied. "I'll give her a call tonight. Have you guys set a place?" I shook my head. "I hear Hawaii's nice this time of year," she cracked. I laughed.

"Hawaii is nice at _every _time of the year," I informed her. Sabella shrugged and sipped her coffee. "I have to admit, it would be nice to have a vacation with you guys. Life really gets in the way of living sometimes."

"That it does. My exams are done, and my mom's pretty lax with the schedule. It's long distance, but Adriana's asked Mom and I to help her plan out her wedding. My mom's doing it free of charge since Ade's like a daughter to her." Adriana and Sabella go back years, even before I met her. They're more like sisters than best friends, which is why Sabella took Adriana's move so hard.

"Are you seeing anyone, Sabella?" I asked. She shook her head, but I could tell she was lying. "You are not seeing Josh again." Josh is her high school ex-boyfriend, and whenever she's lonely, she runs to him. They've been on and off for so long that Jessa's forced herself to stop caring whenever Sabella gets hurt. If there's a fault to Jessa it's that she's too sensitive to the needs of others. She always puts herself last and ends up paying for it. Like with Callie.

"It's been a couple of weeks, but I had a bad night," she confessed. "Speaking of bad, does Kurt know about Jessa and Randy?" I shrugged. To be honest, I have no idea. Jessa and Kurt hardly speak now. Brock Lesnar and the drama surrounding him managed to torpedo a friendship that I thought was once indestructible. "When lunch is done, why don't we go to the mall for some retail therapy?"

"That sounds like a plan," I told her. I honestly have no plans for the next four days. Just going with the flow has been nice. John's busy doing some promotional stuff for WWE, so I won't be seeing him until I get back on the road Friday.

"It feels nice having a girl's day," Sabella confessed. I smiled. I know she's still lonely, and I know sometimes she feels like she's standing in the dust, like we've all left her behind. Since I'm still in Canada, I kind of feel like it's my job to keep her sane.


	15. Jessa Bolt 08

_ "Just like the white winged dove, sings the song sounds like she's singing…"_

We all sat around in the middle of the hallway while I strummed my guitar. Lita brought her bass. Chris, Natalie, Shane and John were using their legs like a makeshift drum kit. We were all singing, one of the few songs that all of us knew by heart. The show was set to start in an hour, so we were all taking some time to unwind before the chaos began. Since starting ten minutes ago, there was a nice little crowd gathered around us.

Randy wasn't around. He was in the back somewhere, doing an interview for the local TV channel. From the corner of my eye, I saw Kurt Angle approaching. He was dressed in a white button-down shirt and slacks. He looked angry. His eyes were locked on me, but I continued to sing with the others, keeping the smile on my face and the laughter at the edge of my voice. By the time the song was over, Kurt was in the front, staring down at me with anger flashing in his beautiful steel eyes.

"Jess, we need to talk. _Now," _he told me. I excused myself for a moment, standing. Kurt grabbed me by the wrist and practically dragged me away from the group. Red-hot embarrassment burned my cheeks and my neck. I couldn't believe he did that in front of everybody. We walked into an empty locker room and he slammed the door behind me.

"What the hell, Kurt?" I asked defensively, rubbing the burning out of my wrist.

"I'm going to ask you this once, Jessa, and so help me God you'd better be honest with me."

"Like you were with me?"

He ignored that. Of course he would. Kurt likes to think he's perfect at _everything_. "Jessa, what is going on with you and Randy Orton?" I snorted. He grabbed me roughly by the shoulders. "Damn it, Jess, I'm serious! Don't roll your eyes at me!"

I put both my arms up as hard as I could and broke his grasp. "Not that it's any of your business, Kurt, but Randy and I are seeing each other." Kurt's eyes widened. I went to walk away from him, but he stepped in my way.

"Have you forgotten everything he put you through last year? Do you really think you can trust him?" Kurt fired back. I rolled my eyes. "Could you stop, Jess? God, how quickly you forget about everything when somebody shows you just a little bit of interest!"

"That's not even fair," I told him angrily. "Anyway, how dare you? I barely hear from you anymore, and the second you hear that I'm trying to move forward with my life you come flying all the way down here without a phone call to ream me out? Fuck you!"

"Jessa, I've known you for a long time. I've never known you to be this stupid."

"Why don't we call this for what it really is, Kurt," I told him hotly, "You're angry that I'm not with you."

"Please," he snorted, his face contorting into something that I no longer recognized. "What would I want with Brock's sloppy seconds?"

The stab in my heart was acute. I wasn't going to cry, but I was angry and hurt beyond belief. "You need to leave, Kurt," I said to him, keeping myself more restrained than I thought humanly possible. "I don't ever want you near me again."

"When you get back to being the Jessa Bolt I know, you know where to find me."

"I don't want to find you," I told him. "Get lost and stay that way."

He realized the severity of his mistake then. He came near me, but I responded with a slap across the face. What he said was so insulting, so despicable, that I knew in that moment that we could never be friends again. His feelings and my disinterest have created an irreparable rift between the two of us. I could dwell on it and wonder why things went as wrong as they did, but in the end I just have to accept that things change in life. Kurt's head rocked back when I hit him. Knowing better than to stay and try and negotiate with me, Kurt just turned and walked away. I sank down into a steel folding chair and stared at my hands.

I think it was about five or ten minutes that passed before there was a knock on the door. It was Natalie. "Hey. Is everything okay?" she asked, closing the door behind her. I shook my head.

"No. I think my friendship with Kurt is over," I told her with a sigh. As much as I felt like I wanted to cry, I couldn't. He had put so much distance between us in the last eight months that it doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Natalie hugged me. I sighed.

"I'm sorry, Jess."

"He found out about Randy and I, and he didn't take it well."

"Fuck him," Natalie said. I looked up at her, surprised. She hardly ever swears. "Seriously, Jessa, fuck him. You didn't say a word when he was playing around with Sabella. What business is it of his to stick his nose in your personal life?"

"I should have remembered to throw that in his face," I said, shaking my head. "Anyway, it's done now. I told him I never want to see him again. Hopefully this means he's just going to stay over on _SmackDown_."

"You have the most eventful life of anyone I know," Natalie teased.

"You can have it," I laughed.

"What do you say we go out tonight?" Natalie suggested. "I'll hit up some of the techs and you hit up a few Divas and we'll go paint the town black." I smiled.

"You know what, Natalie? That sounds like a good idea," I told her. "I think I'll do that."

"Good." Her walkie-talkie buzzed. "I have to go. Meet me in the parking lot at the end of the night." I nodded. Standing, I followed her out of the locker room. I didn't even know whose locker room I had been dragged into. I didn't even bother to look. I went to get my guitar back from Lita, but she left it with Randy at his locker room.

"Are you okay, Jess? What was that all about?" she asked. I shook my head.

"I'm not sure I want to talk about it. Maybe later," I told her. She nodded understandingly. "Natalie and I are going out after the show. Do you and Victoria want to join us?"

"I can't speak for Vicky, but I'm good for it," she said. "I'll go talk to her for you."

"We're meeting in the parking lot after the show." She nodded. We slapped hands and went our separate ways. I walked down the hallway to Randy's locker room, afraid of running into Kurt. If he had half a mind, he'd be long gone, but I know Kurt. He's not that smart. I stopped in front of Randy's locker room and knocked.

"Who is it?" I heard from the other side.

"Jessa," I replied.

"Come on in." I opened the door and walked in. Randy was already in his black wrestling trunks, lacing up his boots. I spotted my guitar instantly in the corner. He looked up at me and stood quickly, throwing on a new RKO T-shirt. "Are you okay?"

"Does word travel that fast?"

"It does when Kurt Angle comes looking for a fight," Randy replied. I sighed.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. He didn't start anything. All he did was threw some empty threats around and left." He approached me, touching my face, giving me a once-over. "Are you all right?" I smiled sadly. "I'm sorry I wrecked things with you and Kurt, Jess. That wasn't my intention."

"You didn't do anything," I assured him. He ran his thumb along my cheek. It was such a simple gesture, but it was the first time anybody has ever touched me like that. I felt a grenade of butterflies explode in my stomach, filling me with pleasant warmth; happiness in spite of the complicated drama that constantly envelops my life.

His lips captured mine. Just like the last time, it felt like every nerve caught fire. When he pulled back, I struggled for breath. "I'm still having a tough time getting used to that," I confessed with a laugh.

"You have a long time to get used to it," he told me with a smirk. "Are you busy after the show tonight? I can think of a few ways to cheer you up…" My jaw dropped.

"You really think I'm going to fall into bed with you that quickly, do you?" I laughed. "Natalie's taking me out with Lita and Victoria and a few of the techs. Maybe we'll set something up for during the week? Like, we could go see a movie or something, if that's okay?"

"That sounds great. Why don't you hang out back here with me tonight? I don't think you should be alone."

"I'm all right. I guess I realized a while ago that this friendship was beyond salvation." I smiled. "If you really want me to stick around with you, I will, though."

"Of course!" he said with a smile. "Are you competing tonight?"

"Not tonight. I get a rare night off. I know next weekend I have to fly down and do the Divas bikini shoot."

"I can't wait to see those photos."

"Ah, the price I pay to live the dream," I commented dryly.

"I heard Vince wants the Divas lingerie shoot done in New York this time around."

"Is that so?" I asked. He nodded. "That's interesting. I have to go shopping for that stuff in a couple months."

"You should let me come with you," he said. I outright laughed.

"Yeah. It's a great idea to put _you _in a lingerie store full of scantily clad women." I sat down on a chair. He pulled up his chair close to me. We sat in silence, watching _Raw_. At one point, Randy left for his match, and I found myself alone. I wondered if Kurt was right, if I had changed too much since everything started last year. I refuse to believe that I'm just some lap-dog, chasing after men who pay attention to me.

I don't know if I'll ever fully trust Randy. I hope so. So far, so good. But I've heard the rumors around here, the rumors about how he just wants to bed me. I'm not completely oblivious. I have to admit that it feels nice not to have to constantly fight with Randy, but I am still suspicious. The seeds of mistrust are already planted; it's going to be hard for me to get rid of them.


	16. Natalie Landry 08

John, Adriana, Rene, Sabella and I sat around my kitchen table. The tabletop was covered with travel brochures, everywhere from the Bahamas to Tokyo. Sabella had really gone overboard gathering travel information and looking into travel packages. She looked energized, excited. I can't blame her; the idea of going somewhere with my friends and just enjoying some time to ourselves is exciting beyond words. The only one missing at the table was Jessa, who was down in Las Vegas doing the swimsuit shoot for the special magazine that's supposed to be out in the summer. This is the part of being a Diva that she hates the most, but I know she's going to look great.

"I know you guys have your heart set on Hawaii, but we've all been a hundred times," John pointed out. Jessa seems to be the only one out of all of us that just wants to go somewhere with her friends and loved ones. She has the right idea. This weekend we're just supposed to pick a place, book the tickets and let her know where and when. I know she's bringing Randy, which could be a good or bad thing. It gives me a chance for us to get to know him. She didn't ask to bring him, though I know she felt awkward about it. It was actually John and Sabella who suggested Randy come along. John's known Randy since their days in OVW. He's been pretty tight-lipped about the new relationship between him and Jessa. Kurt's been in a real snit, though. Jessa isn't returning his calls or his emails. He's been begging me to talk to her, but I told him outright that I don't want any part of this. It's their fight; it has nothing to do with me.

"I'm good with anywhere," I answered, "Just as long as it's sunny."

"I second that, Nat," Adriana replied, a smile tugging at her lips. Sabella nodded in agreement.

"What about Bermuda? JBL really loves that place. He says everyone should check it out if they can, that it's just gorgeous," I suggested. Everybody exchanged glances.

"Do you think Jessa would say yes?" John asked.

"Jessa doesn't care. We're just supposed to tell her where to be and when," Sabella told him. He snickered.

"That sounds like Jessa."

"Am I the only one weirded out that Randy Orton's coming with her?" I asked. John shrugged.

"Rene and I are going. It's only fair," he said. "Besides, we're all going to be around to keep an eye on him, so it might actually be a good idea. God knows what he'll do if Jessa goes away. God knows what he's doing right now." We fell silent. I'm sure these kinds of thoughts go through Jessa's head, too. She doesn't completely trust him; I think she just wants him to stop pestering her. I mean, she put up with it for over a year and a half. Anybody would break down at some point. I have to give Randy all the points in the world for being persistent.

I plastered a smile on my face, refusing to let our mistrust and suspicion of Randy Orton drag our meeting down. "It's about dinner time. Does pizza sound good?" The discussion went from travel plans to pizza toppings, with – no surprise – nobody agreeing on anything. Before I knew it, John was on the phone with Pizza Hut ordering four different kinds of pizza. Rene and Adriana made a run to the video store to pick something up with dinner. Our afternoon of planning was quickly turning into a fun movie night between friends. Sabella disappeared into the living room to catch the news quickly while I cleaned up all the tour brochures. I still don't even know where the hell we're going.

John approached me. "I don't think we decided where we're going," he said with a chuckle. His arms snaked around my waist and drew me close. I rested my head on his chest.

"That tends to happen when we get together. We distract easy," I told him with a laugh. I looked up at him as he brought his lips down, capturing mine. I pulled back after a few seconds, blushing. The last thing I want is Sabella walking in on us. She has a tendency to not be subtle. "There's still time to decide, though. The night's not over yet." His eyes sparkled. I know what that meant. For a guy who is wall-to-wall busy, I can't believe he has as much energy as he does.

"Adriana and Rene are back!" Sabella announced from the living room. I put my hands on John's chest and pulled myself back, out of his grasp. "Are you two fucking in there or something?" John cocked an eyebrow as I flashed red.

"Oh, Sabella, as tactless as ever," I murmured under my breath. John was shocked by her bluntness, his laughter coming out in short spurts. "Don't worry, John – you'll get used to it. I sure did…" I disappeared into the living room. I saw Adriana and Rene were holding big grocery bags in their hands. "We only sent you for a movie!" I sputtered.

"We picked up some snacks for later," Adriana confessed. "We got some chips and some licorice and some gummy bears and some sour keys…"

"Oh, man, I'm going to regret all of this in the morning, but right now this sounds great," John said with a laugh. We sat down on the couch beside Sabella, while Adriana and Rene sat down on the loveseat by my fish tank. "So what did you rent?"

"_Pulp Fiction_," Adriana said, pulling the movie out of her purse.

"I haven't seen that," I answered. All eyes were on me in seconds.

"What? You can't be serious," John told me.

"I haven't seen it, either, Nat, but thanks for being the first one to throw that in the universe," Sabella said with a laugh. John draped an arm around me and drew me closer to him. Sabella looked out the living room window and sighed. "I really wish they did the 'thirty minutes or less' thing here," Sabella whined. "I hate how it always takes an hour for them to get us a pizza that took twenty minutes to make!"

"I'm sure there are other things that go on, too," Adriana replied. "But I know what you mean. It's lame."

There was a beat between all of us. "How's the wedding plans going?" John asked. Adriana and Sabella smiled. I've been relatively out of the loop when it comes to the wedding plans, but Sabella's been keeping Jessa and I updated. With all the travel, it's hard to stay in tune with the lives of others. I'm not complaining; it's just the way it is.

"Good. On Tuesday, I'm going to pick out a dress with my mom. She's flying in to spend the week and to get to know her new son-in-law." She was glowing with happiness. It's nice to see Adriana so happy. I wish the same for Sabella and Jessa, too.


	17. Jessa 09

**A/N: So I got a couple updates in before the new year! Yay me! (Not bad considering I have to re-do all the work I lost on the old laptop, silly me). I hope everybody has a happy and healthy and fantastical 2013! All the best!**

* * *

WWE put us up in a beautiful hotel room in the heart of Las Vegas. My room was especially nice; the side wall nothing but window overlooking the neon-lit Las Vegas skyline. The bed was queen-sized, spacious and elegantly made with cream-colored covers. The walls were a blinding white, the carpet shag and cream colored. The bathroom was nice, with stone-like tile and granite counters. There was a shower _and _a bathtub, the shower big enough to fit four people into, at least.

I stepped out of the shower and towelled off. Even after vigorous scrubbing and a long time just standing under the showerhead, I still felt like I had sand crammed into every orifice. So glamorous. The things they don't tell you in the Divas Handbook. I slid on my black silk robe and tied it up extra tight, studying my appearance in the fogged mirror. Today was a tough day mentally; Trish Stratus has been in full-raving bitch mode because she learned that Stacy Keibler is taking the magazine cover. Trish is so used to being the Golden Diva, being on all the magazine covers. Since they turned her heel last year, she's hated having to give up the covers to the more "likeable" Divas. All day long, Trish has been throwing out snide comments in my direction, about everything from my appearance to my hair to my bikinis to Randy Orton. I know she wants me to bite, but I won't give her the satisfaction.

I sat down on the plush white couch in the main area and rested my head back against the arm of the couch. Lita, Victoria, Christy Hemme and Candice Michelle invited me to go out tonight, but I declined. I'm still jetlagged and we still have another day of shooting. I know the girls just want to corner me and question me about what's going on with Randy Orton. I'm not really into answering questions.

The phone rang. I sighed, standing and moving to the bed, where the telephone was rested on the nightstand. I picked it up before it went to the messaging system. "Hello?"

"Hey! How's the photo shoot going?"

Natalie. I smiled, sitting down on the bed. "It's going, Natalie. Trish is really pushing my buttons, though. She found out Stacy's getting the cover, so she is absolutely furious." Natalie laughed. "How are you guys doing?" Tonight, I know that the girls are getting together at Natalie's house. I wish I could be there for it. It feels like it's been forever since everybody was together. That's why I'm so excited about this upcoming vacation that we're all supposed to take together. It'll give us a few days to reconnect with each other.

"Pretty good," she answered. "Talks fell apart, so we ended up ordering pizza and watching _Pulp Fiction_."

"Good movie."

"Yeah," Natalie murmured absently. I looked at the clock on the nightstand. It was after ten. I could sense she wanted to talk to me about something, but she didn't want a houseful of people to hear it. The chipper tone returned to her voice. "After the movie, though, we figured it out. We're heading to Bermuda in three weeks."

"Great. How long are we going to stay for?"

"Three days. We'd probably have to fly from Bermuda to _Raw_, though." I groaned. "Sorry, Jess."

"It's all right. You obviously haven't tried wrestling after a flight from Iraq to California." The Tribute to the Troops shows – as fun as they are – are hell on the body because of all the flying and time zone changes involved. Once I get home, I end up spending weeks trying to get back on a decent schedule. The others are the same way. The only one who seems to know how to function properly is Shane McMahon, who is used to crossing time zone barriers on a regular basis. "I really can't wait to do this, Natalie. It'll be so good to have time to relax with my friends."

"I can't wait, either. Sabella and Adriana are really excited, too. They send their love."

"Give them a hug for me."

"I will. I'll let you go, though. Sabella decided we should go barhopping and I've been outnumbered." I laughed. "I'll see you at _Raw_, Jess. Have a good night."

"You, too, Nat. Take a shot for me."

"No promises." We laughed, said our goodbyes and I hung up. I picked up the phone and called for room service. I had an uncontrollable craving for a hot fudge sundae with extra fudge. It'd be another twenty minutes in the gym tomorrow morning, but what do I care? Once the order was placed, I put the first season of _The Simpsons_ in my DVD player and sat back to enjoy a nice quiet night.

As there was a knock on the door, the phone rang. Go figure. I answered the phone, asked the other line to hold for a second and then darted across the room to the door, taking the ice cream sundae from the college-aged hotel employee. I made sure I left him a decent tip for his troubles. I rushed back to the phone as soon as I closed the door. "Sorry about that. Room service arrived at the same time."

"Order anything good?" The familiar voice asked. I smiled.

"Just a sundae with extra fudge, Shane," I answered.

"That sounds pretty good. How is the shoot going?"

"It's going all right. How's the executive life treating you? You sound tired."

"That's because I am. I'd honestly rather be doing what you're doing." I laughed. "I thought I'd call and check in on my friend, because Life has been distracting us lately. I heard about the fight you had with Kurt Angle." I groaned. I know for a fact that Kurt's given Shane an earful. If only Kurt knew that Shane and I went out on a date once. We didn't sleep together, but Kurt is a very jealous individual with an overactive imagination.

"I think it has to do with everything. In a couple weeks, I'm supposed to go on vacation with the girls, so I have some time to de-frag, thank God," I said with a laugh.

"That sounds nice. Where are you guys going?"

"Bermuda," I told him.

"I wish I could go," he pouted. "But, I'll be in China, attempting to work on some TV distribution deals. I'm telling you, Jess, dealing with the Chinese is hard. They're so strict about what can and can't be shown on their TV stations."

"I can imagine." Shane's been working on getting it done for years, but there are always road blocks in his efforts. There was a beat of silence between the two of us. I watched Homer Simpson buy a rubber pork chop for his daughter Maggie.

"Can I ask you something, Jess?" Shane asked.

"Of course," I answered, shoveling a spoonful of ice cream in my mouth. It was one hell of a sundae, complete with nuts, chocolate fudge, brownie chunks, whipped cream and a cherry on top. It's up there in the top five sundaes I've ever had.

"This whole thing you have going with Randy Orton…how do you feel about it? I mean, no offense, Jess, but I really don't get the feeling that you like him all that much." I smirked, fighting the urge to giggle.

"I don't know how I feel about it, Shane," I confessed. "He's charming, he's slick, and I'm confused and tired of fighting. Just know that I'm trying to be careful of where this is heading, and that I'm more aware of what's going on inside my head than he is." Shane chuckled. "I know everyone is surprised about this, and that nobody likes this because of everything last year, but it is what it is. It might work out, it might not. I don't know. I'm okay with that. What I'm not okay with is the fact that people are jumping on me about this."

"I'm not jumping on you," Shane assured me.

"I know. I wasn't referring to you," I told him. "I was just referring to pretty much the rest of the roster."

"Are you in love with him?"

"It's too soon to tell. I don't know."

"Just be careful, Jess. I don't trust him." I could have sworn I heard him slur the 's' in my name.

"I don't trust him, either, Shane. I promise you I'll be careful."

There was another beat. "Do you think we could have ever worked out?"

I blinked. "What?"

"You know – the two of us. I know we both said it would be better to be friends, but don't you ever wonder?"

"Shane, are you drunk?" I asked. No need to beat around the bush. There was another beat.

"…You got me…"

"Jesus Christ."

"I'm serious, Jess."

"I am not walking into that landmine," I said with a laugh. "And I am seriously going to forget that you brought this up, Shane." I was trying my best not to laugh. He really is adorable.

"Much appreciated," he said.

"I'll let you go, Shane. The other line is going off. I'll see you Monday. We should hang out."

"That sounds like a plan," he said. Now the drunkenness in his voice was evident. He's the classic definition of a party animal. Sometimes I think it's a miracle he gets any work done. "I love you to pieces, Jessa."

I smiled. "Aw. I love you, too, Shane. You're the big brother I never had." We said our goodbyes and I hit the flash button. "Jesus, I'm popular tonight," I murmured under my breath. "Hello?"

"Hello, beautiful."

"Hello, Randy." I really am wondering why I'm doing this. After all, I'm sure in my absence, Randy is flanked by a bevy of brunettes, his often stated preference when it comes to women. "What are you up to?"

"Not much. Just finished a house show, so I thought I would give you a call." I blinked.

"What? You're not out partying?"

"I thought the same thing," he confessed. 'It's kind of weird. I thought I'd come back to the hotel and call you."

"That's actually really sweet," I confessed, smiling in spite of myself. "The, uh, the girls got together tonight and made the vacation plans. We're going to Bermuda in three weeks." He whistled low.

"That sounds nice."

"Yeah."

"How's the shoot going?"

"All right. Except for Trish. Did you really sleep with her?" I asked.

"What?" He sounded shocked. "Where did you hear that?"

"She implied it earlier. Is it true? Don't lie to me, either."

"No. Never. When she split with Christian last year, she tried to get into Evolution through me, but I didn't want any part of her. If you'll remember, I was too busy chasing you down," he pointed out. There was a little voice in the back of my head that said he was lying, but I wanted to believe him. "I'm sorry, Jess. Just know that I'm not in any way attracted to Trish."

"Really?" Hell, I'm straight, and I find Trish to be one of the most beautiful people on this planet.

"Believe it or not, not everybody thinks Trish is as great as she thinks she is," he told me with a snicker. "Never mind her. It's bad enough you have to deal with her tomorrow, let's have some happy thoughts tonight. What are you doing?"

"_Simpsons _and ice cream."

"That sounds good. I'm just catching the news before bed." There was a beat. "I miss you." I didn't know what to say. "You'll come around," he assured me. I wasn't sure of that, but I gave him a half-hearted assurance that one day I might be able to trust him. I don't even think he bought it.

"I'll see you Monday, Jess. Have a good night."

"You, too." We said our goodbyes and I hung up, resting against the bed. I found I was too distracted to enjoy _The Simpsons_. I wonder if this is what I'm stuck with. I know I promised Randy I'd give him a shot – it's all he's asking for – but I don't think I'm ever going to be able to trust him. Is this how I'm destined to live?


	18. Natalie Landry 09

Shane McMahon approached me at the end of the night, looking like he had run the New York marathon in a three-piece suit. His face had taken on a pinkish hue, his brown eyes darting around in what I can only place as concern. "Natalie! Thank God I found you," he panted, placing a hand on the trunk I was standing in front of. I was going through the final notes of the night that Stephanie McMahon had handed down to us techs. I blinked; since I've started here, I've barely spoken to Shane. "Natalie, have you happened to see Jessa around by any chance?"

"No. Why?"

"We were supposed to meet for coffee twenty minutes ago. She said she needed to talk to me about something important. I've been waiting forever and she's not returning my texts and phone calls. I can't find her anywhere." My face darkened. I could feel it. Jessa's a very punctual person by nature, so if she doesn't show up without saying anything, then it means something is wrong.

"I haven't seen her, but you'd better believe I'm going to help you find her," I told him firmly, shutting the case. Together Shane and I walked down the hallway. "Where all have you checked?"

"The Divas locker room was the first place I checked," he told me. "I checked the catering area, the seamstress area and the parking lot." I wondered where Randy Orton was, and why he didn't seem to notice his girlfriend was missing, but I didn't ask. Shane's not a magician; he doesn't have all the answers, nor does he even pretend to.

We turned the corner when I heard a loud yelp. I stopped in my tracks. Shane collided into me. "Did you hear that?" I asked, keeping my tone hushed.

"Heard what?"

"I heard a yelp." There was a second one.

"Oh, I definitely heard that," Shane told me. "Where did it come from?"

"_Get off me!" _

"Loading docks,' we said in unison. We bolted down the hallway, turning the corner into the spacious area. Shane grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. I turned to him, but he put a finger to his lips, motioning for me to keep silent. I heard the unmistakeable laughter of two people. Shane moved swiftly, quietly, and grabbed a loose piece of wood from the ground, handing it to me. My eyes widened. I can't even hit a softball! There is not one single athletic bone in my body. We peered through a stack of crates. Our jaws collectively tensed.

Jessa was cornered by Batista and Ric Flair. Dave was ruffling Jessa's hair with his hand, fingering strands of her hair. I could feel the anger radiating from her, threatening to explode. Only two feet away from them lay Randy Orton, dressed in blue jeans and a black T-shirt. He was face down on the concrete, unmoving. So that answers one question…

I watched Jessa closely. She was gauging the situation, thinking of the next move. That's Jessa – always trying to think about the next step.

I heard a groan. It was Randy. He was stirring, bringing himself up. Ric came up behind him. Shane went to grab me, but I emerged from behind the crates. "What's going on here?" I asked, my eyebrow cocked in suspicion. Jessa's eyes widened and she shook her head. I know what she's thinking – if I'm the cavalry then we're all doomed. I can't say I blame her. Dave snorted while Ric's eyes widened in a way that I can only describe as both disturbing and disgusting as I moved towards Randy Orton. I kept the piece of wood in my hand. "The more the merrier…" Ric said, rubbing his hands together. I felt nauseous. I've heard all about Ric's life and the stories, but at his age it's just pathetic.

"What's the wood for, sweetheart?" Batista asked me. My eyes widened.

"You didn't see _Walking Tall_?" Jessa stared at me in shock, like she had just watched me sign my own death warrant. Oh, how I wished John was close by. That vacation in Bermuda never looked so good.

"Oh, yeah – you're going to do so much damage?" Dave growled. He had Jessa by the wrist, dragging her closer to Randy, who was struggling to make it to his feet. His pupils were dilated. There was a nice laceration above his right eyebrow.

"Did you think I was so stupid as to come alone to this little party?" I asked. Jessa was looking at me as if she were seeing a complete stranger. The words sounded so foreign to me, so unlike me. Ric's smile faded. While I was talking to them, Shane had moved around the one side of the crate, crouched and ready to strike.

They laughed. I've never felt more insignificant in my life. They laughed like I told the funniest joke on the planet. Jessa was studying me. Dave had her by the wrist. Randy had made it to his feet. I handed him my piece of wood; I figured he could use it more than I could. He didn't say a word, but I know he appreciated it.

Shane struck. Dave went down hard. Shane didn't let up, diving onto his back and striking him furiously with his fists. Dave was so stunned by the quickness of the shot that he let go of Jessa, who stumbled into the crates. Ric turned to go after Shane, but Randy swung the wood. It cracked across Ric's back, prompting me to wince at the sound of the initial contact. Randy moved past Ric and extended his hand to Jessa, who took it without a second's hesitation. He drew her close and she hugged him tightly. I don't know what they endured before Shane and I arrived, but Jessa clung to him like he was a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean. His one arm was wrapped around her waist, the other down at his side as he stared down at Batista. Shane stood, shaking the pain out of his fist. The four of us looked at each other.

"This really has gone on for too long," I said. Randy and Shane nodded. Jessa had her head burrowed into Randy's chest. I'm pretty sure she was crying, but Jessa would never admit to doing such a thing. She prides herself on being tough, on being everybody's rock.

"You have no idea," Randy replied darkly, staring down at the bodies of his former comrades. Randy's other hand came up to stroke Jessa's hair. "It's okay," he soothed. Shane and I exchanged bewildered glances; it's weird to see Randy Orton act like a caring and compassionate human being. "Come on, Jess. Let's get out of here."

"Jess…" Shane started, but one look from Randy cut him off. I guess coffee is off tonight.


	19. Jessa Bolt 10

Everything was going fine until the Monday before I left for Bermuda.

The first thing I noticed when I walked into the arena was that nobody was looking at me. There was a thick aura of discomfort and awkwardness in the atmosphere. People went out of their way to ignore me and disregard me as I went to shake their hands. I looked at Natalie, who I met at the airport. She was just as baffled as I was about the whole thing.

"I wonder what's going on," I whispered. I tried to brush everything aside and act like nothing was going on, but it was hard. My feelings were kind of hurt. As we walked by Trish Stratus, I heard her call me a slut under her breath. She was talking to Tyson Tomko, her blonde hair hidden beneath a Toronto Blue Jays baseball cap. I stopped, but Natalie put her hand on my back and shoved me forward.

"Don't engage her," Natalie whispered. As much as I wanted to, I knew Natalie was right. I spotted Shane McMahon up ahead, talking to Gerald Brisco. Shane spotted me almost right away and waved me over. There was something strange flickering in his big eyes. I separated from Natalie, who went to sign in and get her equipment. Shane met me halfway in the hallway. I swear I could feel all eyes on us, watching us.

"Hey," he greeted. I refused to look at anybody.

"Shane, what in the hell is going on?" I whispered.

"I have no idea, but Dad wants to see us both. I was just waiting for you to arrive," Shane confessed. I cocked an eyebrow. Shane looked just as confused as me, so I knew I couldn't press him for details. Together we walked to Vince's office, trying our best to ignore the stares, keeping our spines as straight as we could. Shane is much better at ignoring the reaction of others than I am. Maria Kanellis was looking at me in curiosity, her green eyes wide. My heart was thumping so loud that I wondered if it was giving out.

We walked into Vince's well-decorated office. He was sitting behind his desk with the notes for tonight's show. He looked downright livid. There wasn't a hint of a smile on his face. I was too afraid to look at Shane. I kind of felt like I was trapped in the movie _Goodfellas_, as the Joe Pesci character who doesn't see that he's walking into his own assassination. The familiar feeling of wanting the floor to open up and swallow me whole collapsed on me.

"We need to talk," Vince said, walking around his desk and leaning against the front. "I want answers damn it, so don't either of you lie to me. I just want to know what the hell is going on between you two."

"What?" Shane I both asked in unison. We looked at each other in disbelief. Where did this come from?

"Damn it, you two, don't play games with me! What the hell is going on between you two?"

"Nothing," I answered defensively, "Absolutely nothing at all."

"Are you standing by this, Shane?" Vince asked his son. Shane's eyes went from confused to indignant.

"You're goddamn right I am." Vince went around to his desk and reached into the top drawer. He pulled out a file folder and dropped it on the desk. "I got this from Randy Orton, Jessa. He's very upset. This is why I have a problem with liars and people dating in this business." Shane picked it up and flipped through it. Then he handed it to me. It took everything I had to keep a poker face up. There were photographs from our dinner date, photographs of Shane arriving and leaving the old penthouse. I looked at Shane, whose jaw was set tight in anger.

"This doesn't prove a goddamn thing." I couldn't get over the shock. Somebody is spying on one of us, and the other is getting caught in the crossfire. With my luck, it's poor Shane being dragged through the ringer at my expense. Vince sat down in his chair and reached into the top drawer. He produced a tape recorder. Shane and I exchanged puzzled glances.

"Explain this away then." He hit the play button.

"Do you think it could have ever worked out for us?" Shane's voice was unmistakeable. I felt my nerves tighten. The hairs on my arms and neck stood on end. "I love you to pieces, Jessa."

"Aw. I love you, too, Shane." My eyes widened. I recognized it instantly as Shane's drunken phone call from Las Vegas. My eyes widening and my expression changing seemed to be all that Vince needed.

"Where in the hell did you get this?" Shane demanded.

"You can't explain it away, Shane."

"Dad, it's not what you think…it's obviously doctored…" Vince wasn't buying it.

"Oh stop it, Shane. This tape says everything." He looked at me. "Do you deny it, Jessa?"

"With every fibre of my being," I told him tightly. "There's nothing between your son and I." Red-hot tears burned behind my eyelids. The familiar feeling of betrayal made every nerve sing. I refused to cry, especially in front of Vince McMahon, the man who considers sneezing to be a sign of personal weakness.

"Well, then, Jessa, until we get all of this figured out, I have no choice but to suspend you."

"What?" It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him that he couldn't do that, but he is my boss. He can do anything he wants to whomever he wants. Fortunately for me, Shane was thinking and feeling the same thing.

"You can't do that!" Shane told him angrily. "You didn't do this to Hunter, Dad. This isn't fair!"

"Not another word out of you!" Vince barked angrily. I tapped Shane on the arm, my eyes never leaving Vince.

"Forget it, Shane." My eyes were locked with Vince. "You want to rummage around in my personal life, Vince? Go ahead and do it. I've got nothing to hide." I turned on my heels and stormed out. Shane rushed to follow me. I turned on him the second we reached an empty section at the back of the arena.

"How could you record that phone call?" I raged. "Were you so drunk that your brain shut down?"

"I did not, Jessa, and I will swear to that on a stack of Bibles." The sad part is that I believed him. I sighed.

"While I'm off twiddling my thumbs, you need to find out who the hell is tapping your phone and following you around," I told him, my tone stern. Shane nodded.

"I'm so sorry, Jessa. I'll do everything I can to get Dad to lift this. He's just overreacting."

"I don't even care, Shane. I mean, it's just my dream job hanging in the balance, right?" I turned and walked away. Shane didn't follow me this time. I heard his footsteps move in the alternate direction, heard the defeated sigh hanging in the air. Now I understood why nobody wanted to look at me. The walls have ears around here, and now everyone thinks that I'm sleeping my way to the top of the Divas division. My entire body burned with humiliation. I'd never been so angry in my entire life.

"Oh, hello, Jessa…" Trish started. She put her hand on my shoulder. I wasn't in the mood for her instigation. I took her by the wrist and the elbow and flipped her over my shoulder, stepping hard on her shoulder with my heel for dramatic effect. She howled. Everybody gasped. I looked at everybody's shocked faces, then down at Trish, who was breathing heavy in agony on the floor.

"Don't worry about the shoulder, Trish – it's nothing a downward dog can't fix." With that, I readjusted my bag over my shoulder and made my way out of the arena, through the big blue door that led out into the parking lot.

Randy was waiting for me at my car, his hands jammed into his pockets. He looked really good, dressed in a tight black Metallica T-shirt and blue jeans that left little to the imagination. I'd say he looked unhappy to see me, but Randy is a very moody guy. He hardly ever smiles. With a deep breath, I approached, not relishing this conversation at all.

"Is it true?" he asked.

"No. It's not even _close _to being true," I assured him.

"I've seen the way he looks at you," he informed me. I snorted.

"Don't start ripping pages out of the Jealous Boyfriend Handbook," I told him indignantly, tossing my suitcase in the backseat of my rental car, a red Honda Civic. "It's very unbecoming on you." I went to the driver's seat, but Randy blocked me. "Just fuck off, Randy, seriously. I'm not in the mood. I'm going home."

"Jess…"

"It's not true, all right?" He looked at me. I sighed, realizing that honesty really was the best policy. "Shane and I are friends. After I split up with Brock, he took me on a pity date. He got a kiss on the cheek for his effort and we decided we were better off friends. That's _it_."

"Why are you so angry? I'm just asking questions!"

"I'm angry because Vince suspended me, Randy. Somebody has taken to photographing the people who visit my home and record phone calls!" I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "See, I knew something was going to happen. I was just thinking my life has been too uneventful."

"Why don't you tell me about the tape?" Randy said. "I think I deserve an explanation. I mean, you told him you loved him. How long ago was the tape made?"

"When I went to the Divas shoot," I confessed. "Shane was drunk. He said it, I said it back. What the tape obviously didn't catch was that I told him that he was like the big brother I never had." I looked at Randy angrily. "I'm not some kind of slut, Randy, so don't treat me like one!"

"Jess…"

"If you don't believe me, Randy, I don't care. I don't need to defend myself. I know what I do."

"What about him coming and going from your house?" With an aggravated sigh, I went to leave, but he blocked me again. "You aren't running, Jessa. Not from me."

"He's been to my home dozens of times, Randy. He is my friend. He lives in the same city as I do!"

"You don't need to be so defensive with me, Jess. I'm just trying to get to the bottom of this, like you."

"Please," I snorted. He grabbed me roughly by the shoulders.

"Hey! I'm not the enemy, all right? And I know you don't believe me, but I actually care about you. I care about you a lot more than you seem to care about me," he accused. "I don't know what I can make you do to trust me, but I'm not giving up on you. I just want to know that you're being honest with me. It's not like I'm asking you for the moon. Just be honest.

"I'm going to help Shane find out who did this," he vowed. "But I need to know that I'm not going to get any surprises when I start looking into it."

"I have nothing to hide," I told him, "especially with Shane McMahon."

"Good. That's all I needed to hear." He ran his hand through my hair. It felt nice. I felt myself involuntarily give myself over to his touch. Since we've gotten together, I've been pretty frigid with him. It's because I moved so fast with Brock. I don't need to make that mistake again. He seemed to appreciate that I was giving myself over to him. His lips captured mine. My arms snaked around his neck and he drew me close. He pulled back. "Jess, don't go."

"What's the point of staying here?" I asked.

"Stay for me." He smiled. I wished I could feel happy.

"I really wouldn't be any fun," I told him. "I'm too upset. I'd really rather just go home."

"Please."

I sighed. "Fine."

"Great. I'll see you after the show. Don't worry about everyone else – fuck them." He kissed me, his tongue entering my mouth with great ease. It never seems to get old, the jolt that courses through me whenever his lips touch mine. He pulled back. "I need to go into the arena and get ready. If I stay out here, I may end up just taking you in the backseat." I blushed.

"You really did not just say that."

"I did," he said with a snicker. "Meet me back at my hotel room."

"You aren't getting any," I told him. He smirked.

"That's fine. Doesn't mean we can't…"

"I get the picture. Goodnight, Randy." I climbed into my car. Randy was too busy laughing at my expense. I'm glad somebody can have fun during what has to be the worst day of my life. I pulled out and drove to my hotel, seriously considering just leaving. I thought about taking down Trish, and how good it felt, even if it means I've got a fine coming in the near future. Vince is always complaining that he's looking for my "edge". If that's what he wants, that's what he's going to get.


	20. Natalie Landry 10

The news of Jessa Bolt's suspension sent shockwaves through the locker room.

Jessa Bolt was the name on everybody's lips at the _SmackDown _tapings on Tuesday night. I really can't believe how many people have bought into the crap that someone has sold as truth. All night I've been trying to curb my temper, feeling it flare every time I hear the word "slut". Since her suspension last night, it's been the one word closely associated with her and it's pissing me off. Jessa is far from a slut, but try telling that to the likes of Trish Stratus, Gail Kim, Dawn Marie and Nidia. It's infuriating, but thankfully John has been keeping close, acting like my second shadow. He's the only thing keeping my temper in check.

Shane is devastated and stricken over what happened. He's blaming himself for getting her exiled for who knows how long. He's been trying to get in touch with her since last night, but she's not answering any of our calls. Her answering machine said she was leaving for Bermuda early and not to bother contacting her. She's livid, on the defensive and wants to be alone. When she's angry she becomes a ball of contradiction, wanting to be left alone but looking for support at the same time. Shane's on the defensive as well, angry as hell and ready to beat the hell out of anybody who dares to give him a sideways glance. I can't blame either of them; their names are being dragged through the mud, and they don't even know who's doing it. I'll put my money on Stephanie, though. She's a deceptive, manipulative, cunning bitch. And those are just her good traits.

If Randy believes that Jessa and Shane have been sleeping together, he isn't showing it. To his credit, during these suspicious times, he's actually standing by Jessa. Trish has been shamelessly throwing herself at Randy, under the assumption that things are over between him and Jessa. He doesn't seem interested in Trish in the slightest, something that's been putting Trish off. He put Gail Kim in her place last night, which made me dance with joy internally. It's tense between Shane and Randy, but they haven't brawled yet. I think they've decided to work together and try to find out who is sabotaging Jessa and Shane. I have my suspicions, as I'm sure Randy and Shane do. I have to admit that I'm impressed that Randy isn't leaving Jessa to fend for herself. Jessa's used to having to handle problems on her own. She doesn't like to ask for help or support, but we have her back.

I was taking a quick dinner break before tapings started. I was sitting in the back, by the doors that led to the parking lot, eating some boneless wings and mixed vegetables. Randy approached. He looked good tonight, dressed in a crimson button-down shirt and slacks. I love John, but I'll be the first to admit that Randy isn't a bad looking guy. Jessa could have done worse. She has done worse. Until he proves his devotion to Jessa to me, I'm going to forever be suspicious of Randy. Our relationship is strained at best. As long as she holds him at arm's length, I will do the same. I was surprised to see him; normally he stays on _Raw_. He had a bottle of Coke in his hands. He took a big swig.

"Hello, Natalie," he greeted. I sipped my bottle of iced tea. He wasn't happy. Then again, he never seems to be happy. I don't think I've ever seen him happy. Then again, he could just be really good at hiding that sort of thing. I think he enjoys coming off like a hard-ass.

"Randy."

"How are you doing?"

"Better than Jessa. You?"

"I could be a lot better. I'm not happy about all this bullshit." He sat down beside me on the trunk. "Answer me honestly, Natalie: do you believe any of it?"

"Not for a second." I said it without a moment's hesitation.

"She tells you everything, right?"

"Just what she wants me to know," I answered. He chuckled.

"That sounds like Jessa." He cocked his head to the side. "Would you mind if we talked in private for a minute or two?" I agreed in spite of my discomfort and followed him, throwing my empty paper plate into the trashcan along the way. I followed him into Vince's empty office. It's a nice office, decorated with a leather couch, an oak desk and a big screen TV. Randy sat down on the leather couch. I sat down at the other end. We were silent, the discomfort thick in the air. I don't trust him and he knows it. He knows he hasn't won Sabella, Adriana and I over yet. I don't think he's won over Jessa, either. "What has she told you about Shane?" he asked.

"He's one of her best friends these days. They really clicked after that attack last year. She says a good ass kicking has a way of tethering people to each other. They live in the same area. He visits her house all the time to get smashed with us."

"You wouldn't cover for Jess, would you?"

"Please. There's nothing to cover for, and Jess would never ask me to cover for her." My tone was matter-of-fact. "I know she told you about the dinner date she had with Shane after she split with Brock. Not only was it his idea that they go out, but it was Jessa who felt like they didn't mesh well as a pair. They both agreed to stay friends. I don't know if Shane's okay with it, but he's accepted it."

"Who do you think would do this to her?"

"Trish. Stephanie. Evolution. I think at this point the line starts to the left," I said. "Callie. I mean, just because she's out with a blown knee doesn't mean she ceases to exist. But I don't need to tell you any of this because I know you've had the same thought. I'll bet Steph bugged Shane's phone. She's the one with the most access to him, so it makes the most sense."

"But why would Steph do such a thing? I mean, it's a given at this point that this company is going to her and Hunter when Vince decides to step down. Shane doesn't pose any threat to her."

"Maybe she's hoping to drive him out and cement the fact that it's going to be her company. Maybe she's decided that this place isn't big enough for the two of them. Maybe she's hoping Vince will fire him for this so it doesn't look like she's pushing him out. I mean, I don't know if you've noticed this, Randy, but Shane is much more well-liked back here than Stephanie."

"Oh, I've noticed."

"Do you believe what's going around?"

"I wasn't sure. But I talked to Jessa and I talked to Shane. I believe them both."

"Jessa's not a whore, Randy."

"Why else do you think I like her so much?" I smirked. He stood. "I think Shane suspects his sister, too, but I have a feeling that this isn't just one person. Stephanie is the most logical, but she's the type that has to have a big group behind her." I nodded. There was an uncomfortable beat of silence between us. "I guess I'll see you at the airport tomorrow?"

"When are you leaving?"

"I'll be on the seven A.M. flight." He sighed. "I wish I could get in touch with Jess. She's shut off all contact."

"We'll get to talk to her tomorrow night." He nodded.

"I'll, uh, see you tomorrow morning." He turned to leave.

"Randy?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for doing this. I know Jess appreciates this. Just know that the girls and I do as well." He smiled.

"I'd do anything for her, Natalie. Don't ever forget that." He left. Damned if my heart didn't melt just a little bit.


	21. Jessa Bolt 11

Before I left for Bermuda, I made a conscious decision to leave my cell phone at home. I refused to take any phone calls when I checked into the hotel. It's been a few days, but the burning anger and the rampant indignation refuse to fade. For the last two days I haven't wanted to speak to anybody. I'm sure there's going to be a million messages on my answering machine from Shane when I get home, but I don't even care. For the next few days, I've washed my hands of the WWE. Easier said than done, I know, but there's only so much that I can do. I never expected Vince to fly off the handle and act so irrational. He doesn't even have all the information, and even if it were true, so what? Shane and I are consenting adults and his daughter married Triple H! I just have to weather the storm.

The hotel Natalie booked is amazing in every sense of the word. The rooms are immaculately clean and spacious, within walking distance to the beach. My room is on the tenth floor, decorated in soft whites and gold, with windows galore and a balcony just off the living room area. At night I stand out on the balcony with a cup of tea and look at the waves crashing across the street. Under the sunlight and under the moonlight the white sand sparkles like a million tiny diamonds. This place is like an exquisite dream. It's just too bad the past two days I've felt too depressed to even leave the room.

I thought about meeting everybody at the airport when they arrived, but I just couldn't force myself out the door. Everyone is going to be jetlagged and exhausted from the flight, so I imagine everyone is just going to want to check into their rooms and rest for the night. Tomorrow night I booked dinner at one of the beachfront restaurants. Tonight it's room service and I ordered enough to feed a small army. I tipped the room attendant generously and watched him leave. The food smelled incredible, and the colors on the plates were vibrant. I decided to take a quick shower before dinner. The hot water felt great, but it did little to wash away the aggravation and the tension I've felt for the past few days. I stayed under the water until the thick steam made it impossible to breathe.

I studied my tired expression in the mirror. The last year of my life is starting to catch up with me. To think it all started because I couldn't keep Callie from getting dragged to _Raw_. I brushed my hair and pinned it back with these pretty onyx and jade chopsticks I bought in Chinatown during one of my trips to BC. I changed into my favorite black silk nightgown that falls to my knees, covering it with a matching silk robe. When I was satisfied that I at least looked relaxed, I opened the bathroom door and smiled at the gust of cool air that blew in.

I stepped into the living room and shrieked. Randy was sitting on the bed, checking out the food on the trays. He jumped, startled, when I shrieked. "Jesus, Randy," I breathed. "You scared the hell out of me!"

"Scared the hell out of you?" he laughed. I noticed his bags were by the door. "I didn't mean to scare you. I heard the shower running when I got here."

"Where are the others?" I asked.

"They went to their rooms. Natalie and John are on the sixth floor. Adriana and Rene are on the fourth floor. Sabella is on the third floor. We're kind of all over the place." He stood, opening his arms to me. He wasn't surprised to find that I didn't run right into them. He approached, enveloping me in his arms. His cologne tap-danced over my senses. I found myself involuntarily resting my head against his chest.

"I've been trying to call you. So has Shane. Haven't you gotten any of our messages?"

I shook my head. "I haven't felt like talking. You'll have to forgive me."

"Shane's trying really hard to get Vince to come around, convince him that you two haven't done anything wrong. Stephanie is back in her daddy's ear, telling him the opposite. So it's going to be a little difficult. But if there's anyone up to the task, it's Shane. He's just as stubborn as his old man, so that bodes well in your favor."

"Why do you believe me? Why aren't you on the other side?"

"Because you've never been anything but honest with me," he said. "I've never had any reason to distrust you."

His hands rubbed my back. My insides flooded with warmth. I tilted my head up in time for his lips to capture mine. There was a jolt that rushed through me, the same jolt that happens every time his lips touch mine. I gripped his T-shirt tightly and stood on my tip toes. He responded by picking me up. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around him, our tongues dueling for dominance. He walked me to the bed and sat down on the edge with me locked around his waist like a belt. My hands ran through his hair. He groaned.

I pulled back, astonished at how fast that had happened. Our eyes were clouded over with lust. I sucked in a breath. "Jess…" he started. I tried to move off him, but he held me in place. When I moved, he made a sound, a groan that came from deep within his throat.

"I don't think I'm ready for where you want to go," I told him.

"It's because you still don't trust me, isn't it?"

"I'm working on it. I really am," I assured him. "I just don't want to make a mistake. Not again."

"I don't think this could ever be a mistake," he told me. I snorted.

"What's the success ratio with that line?" His face fell.

"I'm never going to get through to you," he said, his shoulders curving. Now he let me go. I got off him and went to the balcony, looking out at the beach. Sometimes I think my life is a mess. Sometimes I wonder if I can ever be normal. I think Callie has corrupted me in a way that's irreparable. I don't seem to know how to trust anybody these days, maybe with the exception of Natalie. Maybe the truth is that I'm better off alone, that somebody like Randy Orton would have better luck seducing a pretty brunette with a big chest and air where her brain should be.

I looked down at the water and sighed. I heard the door to my hotel room close. Randy's gone. Not even an hour after he arrived and I've already put more strain and tension between the two of us than there already is. I knew it was a bad idea. People seem resigned to the fact that if I haven't slept with him yet, that I will on this trip. With each passing second, I'm regretting this trip more and more.


	22. Natalie Landry 11

I was really surprised when the plane landed and Jessa wasn't waiting for us at the airport. Randy seemed to be the most upset about it; I could tell by the way his jaw tensed and his eyes turned into slits. He's been trying to call her for days. We all have, desperate to see where her head is at since Vince suspended her over the rumors regarding her and Shane. The fact that she hasn't answered our calls or responded to our messages and emails tells me that she's not doing very well at all.

WWE is Jessa's life. She doesn't have a life outside WWE. She eats, sleeps and breathes pro wrestling. She has ever since I've known her. She travels so much that the only friendships she can maintain are the ones that are around her all the time. I know she regrets that she doesn't see Adriana and Sabella very much anymore, but they left. Jessa has no plans to get out of this life. It's all she's ever wanted. I know Jessa's still wracked with guilt that she couldn't save Callie from the dark side. Callie was her best friend, one of the few people that Jessa trusts with her life. Since her betrayal, Jessa's been spiralling, lost, not able to trust anybody but herself. She used to think she could make heads or tails of the people around her, but now she knows nothing and it frightens her. Jessa is the type that likes to be in control. When she has no control, she hardens. It's a defense mechanism she's had years to perfect, thanks in large part to her family life.

The bar in the hotel was dimly lit but still looked very clean and elegant. The smell of alcohol and wood polish lingered in the air, hanging above the pleasant buzz of the guests. I spotted Randy Orton instantly, sitting at the main bar, his shoulders slumped. Even with his back to me, I could tell he was unhappy. I know people here recognize him, but I'm sure with the vibe he's giving off, people are staying away. From twenty feet away, I can tell he's irritable.

"Trouble in paradise already," John cracked. "This has to be a new record, even for the two of them."

"Give me a couple minutes with him," I said. He shot me a look. "It'll be fine. Don't look at me like that. I'll deal with him while you take some time with your adoring public." He nodded, allowing a group of people to lead him to the back of the bar. I approached, fidgeting, and sat down beside him. He shot me a look, snorted and nodded. I ordered a cosmopolitan and took a big sip to steady my nerves. I winced from the big gulp. Randy intimidates me. I wonder if he intimidates Jessa. He's very intense.

"Where's Jess?" I asked innocently. He snorted.

"Don't know. Don't even care," he growled. I smirked.

"I know you don't mean that." I looked over at John, who was flocked by men and women. People were taking pictures. I looked back to Randy. We were silent for a few minutes. I stewed in the awkwardness.

"How do you put up with her?" he asked. I snickered.

"Years of practice."

"I'm dead serious, Natalie. She's one of the coldest women I've ever met."

"She's far from cold." He snorted again. "What? You are wrong. You just don't really know her. You like what you see, but you're still not sure who she is. And that's fine – you two have only been seeing each other for a short time. You're attractive, she's attractive, and you wonder why she isn't just falling into bed with you. Am I right?" He didn't have to answer. I know I'm right. How often do you ask her about herself?"

"I don't. She'd accuse me of being disingenuous."

"How do you know that? She'd probably appreciate the effort." He clamped his mouth shut. "She's been through a lot. Not just in the last year, but in general. This vacation I'm sure is hell for her because she knows that she's going back to more garbage when she gets home. She wants to perform, but she can't because Vince bought something about her that's not true."

"Why are you telling me this? Don't you hate me?" He ordered another drink, another whiskey sour.

"I don't trust you. But I don't think you're a bad person," I told him. "Jessa sees something in you. Otherwise she would have gotten rid of you by now. She likes you."

"She has a funny way of showing it."

"She's protecting herself. Haven't you ever been in that position? Where you'd do anything to keep people from finding out and exploiting your weakness?" He didn't answer; he didn't have to. Last year Jessa had become his weakness. He was willing to risk everything for her, for reasons I still don't know.

"She's not like any woman I've ever met before," he confessed. "She's funny, she's resilient, she's infuriating. She hates romance."

"I can't argue with any of that."

We heard whistles and catcalls. I smirked. "I'm going to turn around and see Sabella." We both turned our head. Sure enough, Sabella was standing in the arch with Adriana and Rene, dressed in less clothing than a stripper. On the flight, several people had complained about what she had been wearing, forcing the stewardess to ask her to cover up. Sabella wasn't even embarrassed. To be honest, I've always thought that Sabella was the type of woman Randy would go for, oftentimes more breast than brains, the kind of girl that likes to play fast and loose with good-looking men.

He finished his second drink and stood. "I'm going back to my room before Sabella touches me." I snickered. He hasn't made it a secret that he dislikes Sabella. I'm sure she tried to hit on him a few times back in his Evolution days, but they've both maintained that nothing has ever happened between the two of them. With his distaste for her, I'm inclined to believe him.

The three of them approached me and sat down. "Where's Jess?"

"Not feeling well," I said. It wasn't a total lie. Sabella nodded and ordered herself an apple martini.

"Where's John?" Adriana asked. I cocked my head to the left and they spotted him, still mobbed by fans at the back of the bar. Rene ordered a glass of wine, while Adriana ordered a cosmopolitan.

"Randy seems especially cheerful tonight," Sabella commented dryly.

"He's worried about Jess." It's not my place to air their dirty laundry. It's not a lie anyway. For the past few days, I've felt pretty bad for him, trying to call Jessa and not being able to reach her. I'm hoping that Shane gets everything straightened out while we're gone. Vince is stubborn, but Shane can be just as bull-headed as his father. I'm hoping that works in our favor.


	23. Jessa Bolt 12

_**Jessa Bolt**_

I packed up all the room service I ordered and put it away after Randy left. I felt too guilty to eat a thing. It struck me dumb how quickly my appetite plummeted after Randy stormed out. I know he's angry. Normally I don't care, but tonight I feel like a real bitch. Sometimes I wonder if the past year has messed me up beyond repair. I don't think there's any way I can be fixed to trust people again. After years of having Callie around, trusting her, confiding my secrets to her, I feel her absence. It's not to say that I don't love Sabella, Ade and Natalie – because I do – but I just miss the days where we were this indestructible group. I won't admit it to the girls, and I certainly won't admit it to Randy, but I miss having her around. We practically lived together in high school.

My mother never liked Callie, so she was relieved when our friendship came to a public, nasty conclusion. My Granny Sandy, the beautiful, born-again Christian that she is, hopes there's a chance for reconciliation. I just don't know. She's heartbroken; she came to love Callie like a member of the family. She's confident we can fix things, but I just don't see it.

Something went wrong with Callie somewhere, and I wonder if it's because I couldn't save her. I'll never forget the image of her kicking and screaming as Dave Batista carried her over his shoulder to _Raw_. Was she in on it at that point? I don't know. But Callie wasn't that good of an actress in high school. For as long as I'll live, I don't understand how John could agree to that stipulation, to gamble on a human being like that. None of us could save her when he lost.

Maybe the truth is that I've just been blind to the woman she is. Maybe she's always been this cold and calculating, but I was just too desperate to believe there was a hint of good in her. Either way, I carry so much guilt on my shoulders for the way things went down with her, even though I know it's not my fault. I had nothing to do with the match or the stipulation. But she blames me just the same. Things really shouldn't have gotten so bad between us, but I suppose if I'm not in Evolution I'm against Evolution. Until things between us get resolved – which is a question mark at this point – I'm always going to carry this heavy burden of regret.

I brewed myself a cup of tea and took it out onto the balcony. The sun was setting, leaving the sky a vibrant mixture of orange, pink and purple. Cobalt blue was sneaking into the sky from the corner inward, enveloping quickly. I sat down in the patio chair and sipped my tea. I'm so tired of feeling like I have to apologize for everyone and everything, yet I wonder if I'd be able to stop apologizing so much if I weren't acting so damn stupid. I miss the days when my life was simple, when I was just a young girl living her dream with her best friends. Now I'm a suspended former Women's Champion. I took a wrong turn somewhere. Jesus Christ…

In all honesty, I think Vince is just jealous that I'm good friends with Shane. I can't come up with any other reason why he would suspend me over stupid rumors. The "evidence" against me is ridiculous; we all know it, but good luck convincing Vince. For my entire life, I've had to learn to be dependent on myself. Now I'm stuck relying on Shane to fix this. It makes me feel so helpless and so pissed off that I could scream.

I covered my lap with the red knitted blanket I brought with me. My mom knitted it for me years ago, but I only received it last year. I like having it on my plane rides. It's funny that I still convince myself that she's going to come out to New York at some point to see the life I built for myself. I've offered to pay for the trip, to fly her out, but she always has an excuse for why she can't do it. I've even tried planning in advance, but something always comes up. I've had to refund plenty of plane tickets over the past couple years. I've just stopped asking. Kari enjoys the New York nightlife, though, so sometimes I use the ticket I got for my mom to fly Kari out.

My dad's been out twice, but not since before I got together with Brock. He lives a routine life with my stepmother Annette and my stepsiblings Derek and Cara. Last year, Derek got married and Cara had her daughter Brittany, so he's been pretty busy. He emails me every now and then, the last email coming when he heard about my suspension. He promised to make it down, to meet Randy. It'd be nice to see him, because sometimes I feel isolated.

"Hey."

"Jesus!" I took a deep breath. I was so caught up in my depressing thoughts and my pity-party that I didn't even hear Randy return. He smirked, amused that he had caught me off-guard twice in one night. He sat down across from me at the table and stared out at the beach. I studied his face, thinking about my birthday, seeing him beaten and helpless on my locker room floor. Then, I thought about the week after, the cheesy cheesecake thing that was incredibly romantic.

"Distracted much?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Always," I answered. "I seem to have too much time to over-think these days." I sipped my tea.

"Things are going to get fixed, Jess. You just have to be patient," he told me soothingly. I felt myself becoming suspicious of his "get more flies with honey" approach he was taking, but I pushed it aside. At some point, I have to trust him or this isn't going to work. He's out of Evolution, yet I keep lumping him with them, and he hasn't really done anything to warrant the treatment. It's guilt by association, and while I realize it's not right, I can't seem to stop doing it. The miracle is that he still seems to enjoy being around me.

There was an awkward beat. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I opened my mouth to speak, but Randy opened his mouth first and managed to surprise me. "Jessa, what's your favorite color?"

I blinked. "What?"

"You know, colors? What's your favorite?"

"Blue," I answered hesitantly. "That's random."

"Not really," he said, staring out at the beach. "I've been doing some thinking of my own tonight, and I realized that I don't really know you as well as I'd like to." I smirked; he never ceases to surprise me. "What kind of blue? Aqua, sky, navy…?"

"Sky." I laughed. I couldn't help it. Such a frivolous question, so simple and basic, but it felt monumental at the same time. The fact that he was making this kind of effort I know is going to stay with me for a long time. I don't think he realizes that, though. I sighed. "I'm sorry, Randy, for pretty much everything up to this point. I know I'm no prize."

"Well, I have to admit that you're not like any woman I've ever known," he confessed. "You fascinate and infuriate me. Just know I'd do anything for you. You never have to question that." I didn't know what to say.

"Thanks." I felt like the world's biggest idiot. I'm pretty sure he could sense it. "I know it seems like I haven't appreciated anything you've done, Randy, but I have. I still appreciate everything you do."

"That's all I need to hear." We fell silent. He chuckled, leaning back in his seat. "This is seriously the first vacation I've had in years. Sad, huh?"

"Not even. I'm in the same boat," I confessed. "Even worse, it's the first vacation I've been on with friends and a boyfriend." Randy winced.

"Wow. You win."

"I'm a sad, pathetic little creature, aren't I?"

"I wouldn't go so far as to say that, but it's still pretty sad," he teased.

"Well, we can't all lead the crazy, party-driven, whore-mongering existence you've led," I told him. He outright laughed at me, his entire body shaking with laughter.

"I got dragged kicking and screaming through most of that," he said.

"Oh, how you must have suffered," I drawled. We both laughed, shaking our heads. The atmosphere felt lighter. It felt nice to be able to laugh and forget my worries. I also knew that Ric's partying ways precede him and that Randy probably did get dragged to a few places when he just wanted to go back to the hotel and rest. But there aren't a lot of men out there who will complain about seeing strippers.

"Do you ever go out?"

"I used to, when Sabella worked with us. She used to spearhead our nights out. I guess you could say she was my Flair." Randy grimaced. He doesn't care for Sabella very much. He made it painfully clear when she started veering off the rails a few months ago, a direct fallout from Kurt Angle rejecting her. He used her, and it hurt her. She was used to no-strings, but she became attached to him. Kurt had handled the situation wrong, further tarnishing what I thought of him.

"How did those nights go?"

"Pretty lame; she'd ditch us for the first hot thing she found at the bar." I sighed. "I've never seen somebody play as fast and loose as much as she does and not have to pay for it. I love her to death, but I keep telling her that it's going to get her in a lot of trouble eventually. Case in point: Kurt Angle."

"I heard the rumors. So it's true, huh?"

"Very true," I confirmed. "Between you and I, I think that's why she quit."

"Do you talk to Kurt?" I sipped my tea.

"Not very much these days," I confessed with a sigh. "He's really angry that I'm with you and not with him. It's kind of wrecked our friendship."

"I'm sorry, Jess."

"I'm not saying it to make you feel guilty. It's just the way it is," I told him honestly. I stood, leaning against the balcony. "It's such a beautiful night."

Randy stood, taking his place beside me. "It really is. After dinner with everyone tomorrow, why don't we go check out the beach?" he asked. I thought about it and fought back the urge to say something sarcastic.

"I'd say that sounds like a good idea," I told him. I turned to him. "I'm sorry. I'll try to stop being such a brat."

"Eh," he said, wrapping his arms around me, drawing me close. I rested my head against his chest. "I kind of like you this way." I smirked. I placed my arms on his back. He made a sound, an exhale. I looked at up at him. He was smiling. His head dipped low, his lips taking over mine. It felt warming and beautiful.

His tongue began to explore. I granted him access. I thought back to the first time he kissed me, out behind the arena after I got injured in the ring. I needed some air; he needed a cigarette. It had been nothing romantic; in fact, he did it to get a rise out of me. But I still remember how his lips sent a jolt right through me, the same way they do now. They felt electric, like he was breathing life into me. They just have the effect of waking me up.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and let myself – for once – just fall into the kiss. It seemed to surprise him momentarily, but he didn't break the kiss. Instead, he pulled me closer than I thought humanly possible. I broke the kiss, my breathing ragged. "Wow," he told me, kissing the top of my head. "That's the kind of kiss I've been waiting for," he told me. I blushed, resting my head against his chest.

"I'm sorry, Randy. I was really unfair earlier."

"It's all right, Jess," he told me. "I'm not going to go anywhere."


	24. Natalie Landry 12

"Those two are so unusual," I said to John. We were in our hotel room, getting ready for the dinner Jessa arranged for us tonight. I dressed up for it, wearing a black pencil skirt and a white V-necked sleeveless shirt. I was standing in the bathroom, putting the small diamond stud earrings in my lobes as John stood in the doorway. "I don't get it with the two of them. She seems to really dislike him, and for the longest time I thought he was just oblivious to it." I sighed, studying my reflection in the mirror. "I hate to admit it, though, they're really adorable together."

"You think so?" John asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, I really think so," I told him. "They're not the conventional mushy couple, but it seems to work."

"I think she hates him," John informed me, "Which is why I don't understand why she's doing this."

"I don't think she hates him," I told him. "She's never told any of us that she hates him. She just doesn't trust him. For the past year, Jessa's had to deal with so much crap from other people that she doesn't buy anybody's motives these days. Callie inflicted a lot of damage, but Brock just outright screwed up her mind. That guy is such a pig, you know that?" John didn't have to say anything; I know he was angry at the way Brock handled things with Jessa, especially when it was revealed he was seeing Sable on the side. Before we left for Bermuda, word around the locker room was that Brock and Sable had just gotten engaged. I don't know if Jessa knows, but none of us want to be the one to bring it up to her. He hurt her enough.

"I don't trust him," John told me. "I still feel like there's something shady about him, Nat, and I can't shake it." He came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, drawing me back into him. I rested my head against his chest. "You think she likes him?"

"She doesn't give these kinds of shots out to people she doesn't like," I told him. "But she's new to the dating game, and she got burned pretty good her first go-round." I shrugged. "But we can't protect her all the time, as much as we want to. As much as it sucks, we have to let her find her own way with this sort of thing." John nodded.

We were interrupted by a knock on the door. "That's probably Ade and Rene," I told him, slipping out of his embrace and heading to the door. It was Sabella, dressed in the tiniest red dress I've ever seen, her ginger hair framing her face in a flattering way. I eyed her up and down suspiciously. "You don't have any intention of dropping anything tonight, do you?"

"Only if there's a hot guy around," she told me in a way that was characteristically Sabella. I slapped my forehead with my palm, but moved to the side and let her in. She was wearing six inch heels. Like Jessa, I pretty much stick to flats or very thick heels because my balance is just terrible. It's probably even worse than Jessa's, who has at least had to get used to walking in high heels. "Hello, John," she greeted, her tone cool. He nodded at her. The guys never cared for Sabella much, just because she slept around a lot. They didn't mind her while they were sleeping with her, but afterwards they liked to treat her like she was dirty. I don't understand how it doesn't bother Sabella. John and Randy never slept with Sabella, and there are a few others, but there's a lot more that she has been with, including Callie's ex Zach and her current Dave Batista. She likes to kiss and tell when she's amongst friends, but she had nothing complimentary to say about Batista.

There was another knock. "That must be Ade and Rene," I murmured, opening the door. Adriana looked much classier than Sabella in a knee-length black dress, her black hair pulled back and held by clips. Rene was dressed semi-casually, like John. "Hey," I greeted, stepping to the side and letting them walk in.

Adriana looked around. "Where's Jess and Randy?"

"Probably doing the wild thing," Sabella said with a wink. Adriana groaned. "What? We're in Bermuda, one of the most beautiful places in the world. Would it be so bad?"

"Bell, you're incorrigible," Adriana told her with a roll of her brown eyes. John and Rene looked a little taken aback by Sabella's blunt language, which surprises me, considering they're in a locker room full of men who probably say much worse. Neither of them really know how to take Sabella.

"Oh, come on. I bet you the second she starts getting it on the regular, she'll loosen up," Sabella said. John, put his face in his hand. I studied him; is he laughing? There was a knock on the door and I shushed Sabella. I went to the door and opened it. Randy and Jessa were on the other side, looking like quite the pair. She wore a pair of tights, thick heeled boots, with a long, clinging red top with bell sleeves, belted at the waist to give it the appearance of a dress. To match, Randy was dressed in a crimson button-down shirt and black slacks. His arm was around her waist. She looked a tad bit uncomfortable, but there was something else in her eyes. Something that told me she enjoyed it, but her brain was just being a jerk, the way it usually is for Jessa.

"Hi, everyone," she greeted with a small wave. I realized that she hadn't seen us since we arrived. I know she's been dealing with a lot because of the suspension. Shane's working on it, but he needs to find out who is the one tapping his phone. I'd bet my bottom dollar it's his sister and her husband. It would make the most sense. He knows it, too; Shane's no idiot, but now the issue is proving it. She moved swiftly around the room, giving everybody a hug.

"I was starting to wonder if he was going to let you leave the hotel room," Sabella told her teasingly. Jessa blushed. Randy grinned. "You're blushing! You have, haven't you?"

"Sabella, stop it," Jessa said through gritted teeth. Randy swooped in behind her and draped his arm over her shoulder. He looked at Sabella with a look of fascination in his eyes.

"I'd say that's for us to know and for Sabella to find out, isn't it, Jess?" he said to her casually. The expression on Jessa's face was priceless. Her jaw dropped, her eyes just about bugged out of her head, her face flared bright red. We couldn't help it, but we started laughing.

"Let's just go to dinner," Jessa said through gritted teeth. We laughed some more, but I grabbed my cardigan and we left together. Sabella kept nudging Jessa, seeing how far she could push her. Randy knew not to push it, because Jessa looked like she was going to drop Sabella with a Bolt Cutter.

The restaurant was a beautiful beach front place just across the street from the hotel. We had a table on the balcony overlooking the beach. We ordered their huge platter so we could try a little bit of everything. "It's such a beautiful night," Adriana commented. Her chair was so close to Rene that I thought she was going to end up in his lap. In stark contrast, Jessa was a couple inches from Randy. Their relationship really is quite amusing. I know they're sharing a room, but I know Jessa is not sleeping with him, despite what he says to Sabella.

Randy put his arm around Jessa at one point and whispered something in her ear. Not only did she blush, but she actually _smiled_. It was a genuine, happy smile, something that I haven't seen very much from her in the past year and a half. I looked at John, who was talking to Rene about his wedding plans. I started talking to Adriana about her dress.

"At some point, we need to get you and Jess together to do bridesmaid's fittings. Maybe we can arrange it the next time WWE touches down in my neck of the woods. Keep me posted about it?"

"You know it," I told her.

"How is it working for the Honcho?" Adriana asked. I snorted.

"Frustrating at the best of times," I answered. "Vince is a pretty strange individual, but it's all right."

"I've heard stories," Adriana replied.

"They're probably all true," I laughed. I looked over at Jessa, who looked pretty down to be hearing work at the table. "I'm sorry, Jess," I apologized. "I know Shane will figure something out soon."

"I sure hope so," she said. "It sucks sitting on the sidelines like this."

"Is it just me, or are you getting suspended a lot lately?" Last year, Jessa spent over a month on the sidelines after she punched Callie in the face, breaking a no-contact order Callie had put in place when Evolution took charge of _Raw_. In Jessa's defense, Callie was goading her to do it. Jessa maintains it was worth it, even though she got bored of sitting at home very quickly.

"Yeah," she admitted, "Who knew I was a certified bad-ass?" She started to laugh, shaking her head.

John's hand rested on my leg. I felt so relaxed, so lighthearted. "We really need to start doing this at least once a year," I said to everybody at the table. They all agreed with me. Even Randy agreed, making it clear that he's ready to be with Jess for the long haul. I don't know if Jessa caught it, but she was distracted tonight. Jessa is an over-thinker by nature, meaning she's always overanalyzing every single step that she makes. Randy could sense it. He put his arm around her, and to my surprise, she rested her head on his shoulder. For a woman who's always so guarded, it looks like Randy Orton is beginning to wear her down.


	25. Jessa Bolt 13

Randy and I returned from the beach. We were both a little buzzed from the alcohol we consumed at dinner, but not drunk enough that I had lost touch with myself or my values. By the time we returned, the sunset had faded into night. Randy hit the light as I walked to the balcony doors and opened them up, allowing the gentle breeze to blow into the room. I felt light, happy, something I hadn't felt in a long time. The heaviness of the past year and a half disappeared with the liquor I had consumed.

We separated from the others just after dinner. Randy and I talked as we walked along the beach, about everything from his life before wrestling to what it was like growing up with his father and grandfather in the business. The more he spoke and the more he told funny stories about growing up as a tall, lanky kid who never got a date, the more I started to understand him and the more I found myself relating to him. We both didn't have our first time in high school, something we were both embarrassed to admit. I'm sure he's made up for it by tenfold by now.

"What a wonderful night," I said with a deep sigh. The smile on my face hadn't left since dinner.

"It was," he told me, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me back into him. I rested my head back against my chest, surprised at how comfortable it felt. As much as I hated to admit it, my guard was beginning to come down. I'd never admit it to him, though; there's still that little voice in the back of my head that says this is going to end in disaster. How I wish I could be like Sabella, having sex with people and not feeling any sort of connection, but I'm just not that kind of woman. I grew up thinking of fairy tales and wanting to believe in true love, despite witnessing countless tumultuous relationships and divorces all around me. I wanted to believe Randy could be my Prince Charming. Fictional princes are predictable and romantic; real, flesh and blood people are much more predictable and erratic. He rested his head on my hair. "God, you smell so good tonight."

"Are you really serious about this?" I asked. He seemed to understand what I was talking about.

"Of course I am," he said, his lips pressing against my hair. "Jess, I've been looking at you since you showed up with Callie. You seemed so sweet and so polite, and so loyal to your friend. Even though she was far from loyal to you, it was touching to see you doing everything you could for her." I knew what he was referring to. The night Callie had been dragged to _Raw_ kicking and screaming. I had tried to chase Evolution down, being held back by several Superstars as they shoved Callie in the limousine and drove away. Up until that point, it had been one of the worst nights of my life, seeing Callie screaming for help and all of us being powerless to help her. If only I had known then what I know now. "I felt so bad seeing you on the ground that night as we pulled away."

"Was she in on it at that point?" I asked. I'd always wondered, but I never had the guts to ask.

"Yeah, she was," Randy confirmed. "She met Dave at a bar a couple weeks before she put the match up." I realized that she had been seeing Dave the entire time she was seeing John Cena. His hands ran along my sides, creating a small shiver through me. "She wanted me to recruit you. She really thought you would follow her into Evolution. She used to refer to you as a sheep."

"I sure proved her wrong, didn't I?" I said with a small laugh.

"She knew I liked you. When she realized you weren't going to join us, she wanted me to humiliate you. I couldn't. I just wanted to protect you, and I felt horrible every time you got hurt." I shrugged. "I underestimated just how tough you were. Callie really went out of her way to paint you as this weak girl who needed Callie to survive, but I sure learned differently."

"So did she," I said with a laugh. I was staring out of the open door, into the night, enjoying the faint smell of Randy's cologne on my senses. His fingers brushed the sides of my breasts as they moved up to my shoulders. I felt a small shudder rush through me. I realized it had been eight months since I'd been physical with somebody. The time sure flew. "Where do you see this going?" I asked.

"I don't know. That's fine enough with me." His hands began kneading into my shoulders. It felt good. A groan escaped my lips before I could trap it. I felt Randy's body rumble with a chuckle. "How does that feel?" he asked. I didn't have to look at him to know he was grinning. He knew I liked it; he didn't have to ask. He just wanted to hear me say it, just wanted to hear me admit that I liked something he was doing. I just closed my eyes. He chuckled. "You like keeping yourself under control, don't you?" he asked with a chuckle.

"I like keeping myself protected," I told him quietly, my eyes still closed. His fingers were like magic. I could feel his hands working lower, trying to see how far I would let him go. I wouldn't let him go all the way just yet, but I'd certainly let him get somewhere. I mean, he's built like a Greek God. I'm only human. I mean, I could do a lot worse.

His hands slipped under my shirt, his fingers just moving along my stomach. I felt an explosion of warmth that took me by surprise. His fingers moved with such expertise that I felt myself becoming shaky on my feet. "You don't have to protect yourself with me," he said, his voice cloudy with what I could only identify as lust.

Then his hand was inside my tights, his other hand holding me tightly against him. My breath quickened. "Jess…" he breathed into my ear as his hand inched lower.

"I don't know if this is a good idea," I told him, my voice becoming shaky. I sure didn't want him to stop, but I knew if I let myself go that I'd be opening myself up to something that could be disastrous. His fingers brushed against the flat surface of my lower stomach, only inches above the hemline of my boy shorts. I groaned.

"If you really want me to stop, tell me to stop," he told me.

"We should stop," I told him, my breath shaky. He removed his hands from me and I took a few moments to try and steady my breathing. I knew this trip was going to test me in more ways than one. My entire body was singing, my every instinct was to take Randy down to the bed and take him around the world. But I couldn't bring myself to do it just yet. I needed more time to get to know him.

"Was it hard for you to say that?" he taunted. I tried to think of a good comeback, but my mind was too clouded to come up with anything. Instead, I walked away from him, into the bathroom for a cold shower. I locked the door behind me, staying in there until I was basically an ice block. He`s dangerous for me. He makes me want to just drop my guard and walk blindly into his world of chaos. The feeling of giving myself over so freely to another person is frightening since things didn`t work with Brock.

I'm afraid, but I'll never admit it to Randy. I'm afraid that I might just be falling in love with him and his good looks, his blunt attitude, his protectiveness of me. I should be very afraid of these feelings; the feelings that have been leaving me conflicted for a long time now. I stayed in until I was sure my veins had turned to ice before I got out. I dried off and changed into a pair of shorts and a long T-shirt, one of John's old shirts. I stepped out feeling like Frosty The Snowman's girlfriend or something. Randy was on the bed, hands behind his head, a smug smirk on his face. God, he's infuriating at the best of times, downright unbearable at the worst. He motioned for me to come to the bed. Reluctantly, I did, satisfied when I sat down and he recoiled from me.

"Jesus fucking Christ, you're cold," he informed me, laughing.

"So I've been told," I replied.

"That's not what I meant," he laughed. I rested my head back against the pillow and sighed. Before I knew it, I fell asleep.


End file.
